Over the years music has had a powerful effect on both me and my children who were traumatized. That is why I occasionally post love songs. Play them during a quiet time in your household. You may not need to say a word, other than maybe "I love this song." The song Anyway, first began with Taz saying every time "I hate that song". After a few months of playing it almost every morning, he started singing along and would say "I like that song". I played the one below it ,"Satisfied" yesterday and said "I love this song, isn't it neat?" and Taz who was sitting less than 3 feet away said "I didn't hear it." I just smiled. I'll be playing it more often.
Christine has such a song on her blog today too. Travel on over to that one. Play a few songs a week. Don't shove it down their throats or talk about the meaning. Just keep playing it.
Have a healing worship filled Sunday!
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Love
Reminder for me. Reminder for you. I'm going to focus on the basics.
12 hugs a day
loving eye contact
being attuned
Let the arguments go. Winning is NOT winning an argument. It is loving in a therputic manner that brings your child to healing. I do believe that ultimately all healing comes from God. He uses us when we are willing.
12 hugs a day
loving eye contact
being attuned
Let the arguments go. Winning is NOT winning an argument. It is loving in a therputic manner that brings your child to healing. I do believe that ultimately all healing comes from God. He uses us when we are willing.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Love/Hate
I'm going to say it out loud. Sometimes I hate this child. That is a horrible thing for a mother to say. Deep down I always have love for this child. He is mean, destructive, offensive, gross, constantly gives me dirty looks and horrid remarks. So how do I parent him? That is tough. We all know it. It is easier to just send him from the room or leave the room myself.
Parenting has to sometimes be a head decision and not always a heart decision. The committment is obviously there. I have had many people tell me that they would have sent him away long ago. If you have sent a child to residential do not get me wrong. I KNOW there are times it must be done. It would be a difficult and heart wrenching thing to do but there are times when parents must do this. He has behaviors that are not quite enough to go there. If I ever felt one of us was in danger he would go. He has had a very rough morning. He didn't want to take his medicine. He has suddenly decided it makes him dizzy. He doesn't complain about this at any other time. He is fine doing sports, eating, walking through the halls. But when he is at home he decides to choose this battle. He spit the medicine on the floor, he hid it in his hand. I finally got him to take it. He is 16. I'm not sure how much difference the medication is making so I probably will let him cut it out rather than battle every morning and see how it goes. I still managed a coupld of "I love yous". When he had me do his brushing for SID on his back I said "Sure I'll do anything for you". He still walked out the door without saying a word. Some days we do the right thing because it is the right thing. We must trust and have faith that God is working in this child's life. He will give us the strength to handle this correctly not based on our emotions of the moment but because it is right. Stand strong today. Do what is right even if the feelings scream something else.
Parenting has to sometimes be a head decision and not always a heart decision. The committment is obviously there. I have had many people tell me that they would have sent him away long ago. If you have sent a child to residential do not get me wrong. I KNOW there are times it must be done. It would be a difficult and heart wrenching thing to do but there are times when parents must do this. He has behaviors that are not quite enough to go there. If I ever felt one of us was in danger he would go. He has had a very rough morning. He didn't want to take his medicine. He has suddenly decided it makes him dizzy. He doesn't complain about this at any other time. He is fine doing sports, eating, walking through the halls. But when he is at home he decides to choose this battle. He spit the medicine on the floor, he hid it in his hand. I finally got him to take it. He is 16. I'm not sure how much difference the medication is making so I probably will let him cut it out rather than battle every morning and see how it goes. I still managed a coupld of "I love yous". When he had me do his brushing for SID on his back I said "Sure I'll do anything for you". He still walked out the door without saying a word. Some days we do the right thing because it is the right thing. We must trust and have faith that God is working in this child's life. He will give us the strength to handle this correctly not based on our emotions of the moment but because it is right. Stand strong today. Do what is right even if the feelings scream something else.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Loss
Our daughter just left to go back to college. We will miss her. She is such a sweet giving spirit. My youngest is feeling the loss. He has had so much loss in his life. Loss of family, homes, friends, schools, possessions. Having his sister go back to college brings it all back up again. This is the child that is healing from RAD so he feels love for her. He is learning to feel and hurt at an appropriate time. She left about 30 minutes ago and he is am emotional, yelling mess. He just went in his room and I am giving him some space to calm down. Then I will go in and rub his back and talk about how I feel about her going back to school. I will let him know that feeling sad when she leaves is appropriate and it is actually good that he misses her. This child is now somewhere in between the land of "Rad" and the land of "Healthy feelings". It is a strange land where he has to now relearn relationships. Poor guy.
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