Bullies

Sometimes my children with RAD are bullies. They try to dominate others kids, our pets, me, each other. Sometimes they use posturing. They try to get in the face, in the case of Bear now he tries to tower over me. They disagree with much of what others say and then try to prove them wrong in a condescending voice. They will punch, slap or spit. They walk around sniffing loudly, picking their noses and will belch in your face. They call kids names and make fun of them. Then when kids react negatively they come home and say in a weepy voice that someone is threatening to beat them up. "YA THINK?" Then they claim they have done NOTHING to this child and that they are threatening for absolutely no reason. I tried to explain how what he says may be leading up to this behavior (turns out 3 different kids have come up to Fish and said they with they could beat up Bear) . I have counselled Fish to just say nonchalantly "Just ignore him." Siiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhhh. Unfortunately, by the age 16 our children should have some form of social grace. Not so for Bear. I hope his day is better today.

Oh and I should add what I do when he bullies me. I have to admit there are days when I am weak and I just get back in his face and actually say "bring it." He always backs down but it is not good parenting. Instead I get a much better response when I put my hand gently on his arm and soften my eyes. I say "I know you are scared. It is hard to make friends. Do you want to talk about it?" Today maybe he'll do better. Maybe I will do better. I know I have to try.