Mama Mondays

Trees get most of their strength from the roots. The storms come and if they have a shallow root system they will blow over.

People are that way. Moms are that way. We think we have to be tough and strong. Sometimes we do. Sometimes we need to stop and let someone else be the strong one. We need a strong support system. The professionals in our lives will come and go. We need support that will stay. Here is my support system:

My spiritual life which for me is all about my relationship to God.
My church staff and members.
Friends both in real life and on line.
Support groups (mine is an online support group but if you live in a big city you should be able to find one there)
Family (my husband, older kids,parents)

There are always going to be family and friends who just don't get it. That is OK. They can be your support system for some other aspect of your life. For RAD you need people who get it, believe you and are non judgmental. Seek them out. It will make you stronger. Then when the storms come. You will stand fast. If you don't.....

Finding Support

One of the things that helps moms most is finding strong support. We have to look in a wide variety of places. First, for me, is in my faith. I believe in the power of prayer. I also appreciate those in my church and my church friends. They are with me fully and let me know that. They cannot give councel as to how to handle our kids. They can pray and let me know they care and they do that. Thanks ladies. Second is professional help. I do believe it has made a big difference for me. They give you a place to let out your deep feelings but they also help you find a balance. They think of ways to deal with your life friends are not trained to do. They add a balance of a nonemotionally involved outlook at things. Support groups are great. I know there is an adoptive support group that meets about an hour and a half from here. I have not had the opportunity to attend their meetings but no someone else who has and finds real understanding and wisdom there. Finding other moms who have adopted and are facing some of the same issues helps too. I meet regularly for coffee with one mom who has two daughters with RAD. We rarely give answers but always share about our week with no judgment. We give each other understanding. On line there are blogs and websites with information. I feel the more I understand about this disorder the better I can parent this child. Find your support. Search it out for yourself. A tree with long strong roots can withstand the storm.

P.S. Oh my goodness. I left out my hubby. He is my strongest supporter. He does not understand RAD to the extent I do. He knows that and so says "I don't get it but you do. What do we do?" He is always there with a hug and says to do what I need to in order to take care of myself. We take good care of our relationships with each other and because of this have grown closer through RAD rather than apart. Hmmmmmmm. Maybe I should talk about marriage tomorrow.