This is for those who may be searching. The Googlers out there looking for answers. I don't have all the answers but maybe I can help aim you in the right direction. Maybe. I am not a Psychologist so I cannot diagnose. I can describe what our children were like and you can decide for yourself.
When our children came Bear was quiet, developmentally delayed, lying, sneaky and....6.
Bear was wild, uncontrollable, angry, extremely affectionate to strangers and ....3.
I did a variety of attachment parenting behaviors I read in the Nancy Thomas books. Thank goodness for that woman. If I had not done those things from the get go I don't know where I'd be now.
As Bear has grown his behaviors and actions stayed at about age 4. They may have moved up to about 6 now. I'm talking about his lack of common sense, lack of reason, logic. The things he says. I hope this doesn't sound mean. I am trying to be honest so I can help other hurting moms. I was a hurting mom.
Taz became increasingly explosive, defiant, destructive. By second grade he was frightening. During this time we took them to a variety of therapists, psychologist and doctors. We tried herbals, we tried every medication and nothing seemed to make a difference in their behavior. We prayed over their behavior and asked others to do the same. We would wake up at night to the sounds of Taz kicking his furniture apart or tearing the woodwork from his walls. He completely demolished his room. We took everything out but the bead. He tore down the rods and shelves in his closet. We put the clothes in laundry baskets which he destroyed. The therapists said we were good parents, they would come around, be more positive, be more strict, do sticker charts, establish reward systems (I am a positive parent and my kids are rewarded). Set boundaries (We have more boundaries than Cuba) . Nothing made a difference. The last one told me to put them in after school care so I could get away from them. Yeah. That's helpful.
We finally found an attachment therapist who described their behaviors to a T over the phone too me. That was the beginning of change. It was the beginning of change in me and the beginning of change in Taz. It also has given Bear an understanding of himself. He knows in his head what has happened and why he has these feelings. He has not acted on it yet. I don't know if he will.
If your child is having explosive behavior and no medication has helped. If he has been diagnosed bipolar, ADHD, ODD or intermittent explosive disorder and they had early childhood trauma you may want to have them seen by an Attachment Therapist for an assessment. The disorders have such overlapping symptoms that it is difficult for a mama to diagnose. There is hope. Never, never, never quit.
Showing posts with label Bipolar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bipolar. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Disorders galore
If your kids are like mine they have had many diagnosis' over the year. ODD, ADHD, depression, anxiety, bipolar, intermittent explosive disorder, and then RAD. The symptoms of many of these disorders are so similar so over lapping. For example ODD. (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) according to the American Academy of Pediatrics:
frequent temper tantrums
excessive arguing with adults
active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
frequent anger and resentment
mean and hateful talking when upset
seeking revenge
Do any of these sound like your child? If they have RAD it does. So how to get a correct diagnosis is so tricky. I believe our neuropsych evaluation was very helpful. We began treating the RAD first. Many of our youngest child's symptoms lessened or disappeared after he advanced in his treatment. He had almost all of the above diagnosis at one time or another. I believe RAD is his only diagnosis now. Our other son did not respond well to treatment for RAD. I believe this is because there are other problems. We have been adjusting some medication based on the neuropsych evaluation. He is receiving OT for his sensory issues. We will see how these to treatments change how we work with him on his RAD. It is hard to attach to someone if it hurts when they touch you - tactile defensiveness. It is hard to feel safe or attach if you have anxiety or depression. We did take our boys off all medication last summer when we were beginning attachment therapy in order to see the "real" them and also because we wanted them to really feel their feelings. It was very difficult. Our youngest has gone from being on 4 medications to 1. Our older was on 4 and is currently on 2, but he is still a work on progress. I guess my point here is 1) Professional help is needed to sort through the complications of emotional/mental health 2) RAD was the place to start for us. When it was better with our youngest the other disorders were no longer such an issue 3) If your child isn't responding look for other conditions. Oh yes and "Never, never, never, quit." Winston Churchill.
frequent temper tantrums
excessive arguing with adults
active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
frequent anger and resentment
mean and hateful talking when upset
seeking revenge
Do any of these sound like your child? If they have RAD it does. So how to get a correct diagnosis is so tricky. I believe our neuropsych evaluation was very helpful. We began treating the RAD first. Many of our youngest child's symptoms lessened or disappeared after he advanced in his treatment. He had almost all of the above diagnosis at one time or another. I believe RAD is his only diagnosis now. Our other son did not respond well to treatment for RAD. I believe this is because there are other problems. We have been adjusting some medication based on the neuropsych evaluation. He is receiving OT for his sensory issues. We will see how these to treatments change how we work with him on his RAD. It is hard to attach to someone if it hurts when they touch you - tactile defensiveness. It is hard to feel safe or attach if you have anxiety or depression. We did take our boys off all medication last summer when we were beginning attachment therapy in order to see the "real" them and also because we wanted them to really feel their feelings. It was very difficult. Our youngest has gone from being on 4 medications to 1. Our older was on 4 and is currently on 2, but he is still a work on progress. I guess my point here is 1) Professional help is needed to sort through the complications of emotional/mental health 2) RAD was the place to start for us. When it was better with our youngest the other disorders were no longer such an issue 3) If your child isn't responding look for other conditions. Oh yes and "Never, never, never, quit." Winston Churchill.
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