RAD mornings

Teen RAD is something else.  If you have young kids do no put off their treatment. The younger a child is the more easily they are treated.  Do no wait!! We almost got treatment when our kids were very young. We could not get the therapist to call us back and finally gave up and tried other things. The other therapies did not work as they all involved the ability to use cause and effect thinking. Our kids do not have that.  I am seeing it peek its head out now and then with Taz but then when his fear is too great it disappears again.

Teddy has made small steps toward attachment as of late. Those of you who have seen your kids start to attach know that at the beginning that means huge escalation of their fears which shows up as anger and lashing out.  It means progress strangely enough. So that is what we are seeing. Just when I think I can't handle another day of his verbal assaults a little ray of sunshine shows through.

We have worked on morning routines for years trying to find what works.  When we first began attachment therapy a few years ago I found that making them a high protein breakfast while they sat quietly near me for a few minutes collecting their thoughts worked best. It was actually Nancy Thomas' strong sitting, similar to the lotus yoga pose.  It is NOT a time out, punishment or an unloving act. It is simply sitting in that position (legs crossed, spine straight, hands on knees, neck tall) for a few minutes while breathing deeply to calm themselves. We don't do it any more, but it did help with our mornings on those days.  We have always had our kids get dressed before breakfast on days when we have to go some place (school, church) as they wouldn't get dressed otherwise.  We then had them do chores before breakfast. 

Here is the current plan that works like a dream.  If they can get dressed in 15 minutes they can eat before they do their chores. They all love that idea so they do it.  They then can go have their quiet time (which for us is reading their Bible or devotional book and praying) if they'd rather do their chores after school.  This is working great.  Teddy has been eating this up and actually comes out and shares feelings and thoughts about what he had read. He just came out and thanked me for having him do this because he is enjoying it. ENJOYING IT!

Never, never, never quit.

quiet mornings

For 9 years our mornings have been complete and total chaos. My 2 kids with RAD wake up ready for battle and come out of their rooms looking for any takers. We have a new routine that is working great!! First thing I put the Mozart on the CD player. They get dressed and I absolutely do not say one word. If they want breakfast they will get there in time. If not they can always go to school in their jammies with an empty stomach. While I am fixing breakfast they come and do their strong sitting (choice of 5 minutes of strong sitting or 30 minutes of weak sitting) http://www.attachment.org/SS.htm Here is Nancy Thomas' description and instructions on strong sitting. They then sit down and eat their scrambled eggs, toast, bacon and large glass of milk. Protein and calcium are both calming and eggs and milk are full of them. Afterwards they write in their journals. If there is time they may start chores, if not, that is fine. It is so much more relaxing than what we used to have and we start our day calm and ready.