Friday, January 8, 2010

RAD mornings

Teen RAD is something else.  If you have young kids do no put off their treatment. The younger a child is the more easily they are treated.  Do no wait!! We almost got treatment when our kids were very young. We could not get the therapist to call us back and finally gave up and tried other things. The other therapies did not work as they all involved the ability to use cause and effect thinking. Our kids do not have that.  I am seeing it peek its head out now and then with Taz but then when his fear is too great it disappears again.

Teddy has made small steps toward attachment as of late. Those of you who have seen your kids start to attach know that at the beginning that means huge escalation of their fears which shows up as anger and lashing out.  It means progress strangely enough. So that is what we are seeing. Just when I think I can't handle another day of his verbal assaults a little ray of sunshine shows through.

We have worked on morning routines for years trying to find what works.  When we first began attachment therapy a few years ago I found that making them a high protein breakfast while they sat quietly near me for a few minutes collecting their thoughts worked best. It was actually Nancy Thomas' strong sitting, similar to the lotus yoga pose.  It is NOT a time out, punishment or an unloving act. It is simply sitting in that position (legs crossed, spine straight, hands on knees, neck tall) for a few minutes while breathing deeply to calm themselves. We don't do it any more, but it did help with our mornings on those days.  We have always had our kids get dressed before breakfast on days when we have to go some place (school, church) as they wouldn't get dressed otherwise.  We then had them do chores before breakfast. 

Here is the current plan that works like a dream.  If they can get dressed in 15 minutes they can eat before they do their chores. They all love that idea so they do it.  They then can go have their quiet time (which for us is reading their Bible or devotional book and praying) if they'd rather do their chores after school.  This is working great.  Teddy has been eating this up and actually comes out and shares feelings and thoughts about what he had read. He just came out and thanked me for having him do this because he is enjoying it. ENJOYING IT!

Never, never, never quit.


LemonyRenee' said...

Well, I am inspired. Thanks and well done.

peggysue said...

Yay for you!!!

Tami Boesiger said...

You are such a good mom, Brenda. You make the rest of us look bad.

Anonymous said...

So glad I found your blog! Good, no...super natural job staying the course. :) As a mom of four adoptees, two with RAD I know first hand just how insanely hard it is to do so! I still often have days where the thought 'is it time to stop now!?' crosses my mind, yet your post brings me hope! God bless you all, truly!