RADvicious fighting

Yesterday for Taz's birthday one of his gifts was jeans and a shirt. I know, every 14 year old boys dream gift. Oh well. It is so hard to dress this child so he looks nice. I feel like I try and then he ends up looking very sloppy most of the time. I haven't put my finger on it. Could it be the uncombed hair, the crooked glasses, the dirt smeared on the pants? I don't know. Anyway this new outfit from American Eagle looked sharp! These pants fit him PERFECTLY. He is excited to wear his new clothes to school today. So off the three boys go to school. Fish drives them every morning and I had set down in the recliner and was digging my way through Clinical Asssessment notes. The phone rings. Bear has punched Taz in the mouth and there is blood all over. Taz went into school and they were on their way to the high school. I could hear Bear yelling in the back ground. What am I supposed to do from here???? I told him just to get to school. I figured he needed to get out of the car and away from Bear. So in the spirit of frustration I am going on a mental break to Antigua. Care to join me?

My husband and I coming back in from sailing.

On of the most romantic days was when Hubby and I went on a Sunset Cruise. It was beautiful.

This is a picture of the Sandals resort from the balcony of one of the bigger buildings at the back. I cannot say enough good things about Sandals. Clean, excellent food, great all inclusive features, safe. I could go on and on.

The photo at the top I took one morning when I went to walk on the beach before breakfast. The rainbow was a pleasant surprise. There was usually a little short shower each morning and evening and then beautiful weather the rest of the day. Ahhh. I feel better now.

Fighting

Yesterday I received a call that Bear had been in a fight and punched someone in the face. He is suspended for 3 days. I decided to try and use the Love & Logic method and told him that if that was his choice that he was going to have to live with the consequences. Bummer. I emailed our attachment therapist who suggest maybe I should have him explain what happened, knowing it will be lies, and give empathy and understanding. After he is done sharing say something like "If I think that happened to me I think I would have gone for help. Do you think that would work?" On my way to grad school last night I received a phone call from the middle school Principal that Taz had been in a fight and punched someone in the face. What's the deal? I explained what happened with Bear and he said he would give Taz an in school suspension so I wouldn't have them both home at the same time. I love small town life. I also set it up so Bear can go rake the middle school Principal's lawn most of the day. Last night after getting home from school fairly late I saw Bear's light on. He fell asleep on the floor of his walk in closet. I sent him to bed and walked into the closet to see what he had been doing and found a lighter. He was too incoherent to talk so we will discuss it this morning. My boys seem to be in full fear mode.

P.S. I did have the more empathetic discussion with Bear this morning and it was much more productive. I could see him thinking. I had the same discussion with Taz and that went well. Empathy and understanding are such effective parenting/relationship builders. I realize that no method will probably make a difference in his anger management but it does work toward closeness between us; which will lead to the anger management, if that makes sense.

I've been tagged
Lisa tagged me. She said she thinks I have it all together so I am going to tell you about days I have NOT!
Here are the rules.1. Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules.2. Share seven random or weird facts about yourself.3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post with their links.4. Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1. I wish I could sing. When I hear songs on the radio I picture myself on stage performing them. In my day dreams I can sing REALLY REALLY well. I sing with the radio most of the time and if the radio is loud enough I sound great! : ) While working out and listening to my iPod I often picture myself doing Karaoke.
2. I think it would be the greatest vacation ever to throw all my stuff in the back of the car and just start driving. The direction I headed would depend on the time of the year. I'd just stop wherever I wanted and do whatever I wanted. It would be AWESOME.
3. My house is full of animals. They are all strays or from the animal shelter. I do have one cat that has started bullying the others though and really needs a home where he is the only animal. Know any one looking for a big orange neutered, de-clawed cat?
4. I grew up in Kansas City. I LOVE the big city. I like the busyness, all the people, the shopping, the restaurants. Small towns are an awesome place to raise a family though and I wouldn't exchange that for anything.
5. When I was little I wanted a horse more than anything. I would tell my parents if I couldn't have a horse I didn't want anything. I read horse books. I had posters all over my room of horses. Did I mention I grew up in Kansas City?
6. I am addicted to chocolate. I could eat chocolate all day for every meal. I eat it when I am happy, sad, stressed, angry or just because it is the most awesome food ever. That is why I need to lose 10 lb.
7. I did have something about loving the outdoors here but I am deleting and telling you about the most dastardly side of myself. I can be manipulative. Ask my husband. It is not a good trait. Because I am a "people watcher" I seem to know how to get people to do what I want. When I am in a situation where I feel people are trying to intimidate or talk down to me I start using a more expansive vocabulary and intimidate back. I sweet talk to get my way. I really am working not doing this as it is not a very honest way of dealing with people. It will be important as a counselor NOT to do this.

I am supposed to think of 7 people....I am instead going to say, if you want to do this leave your link in the comment box and we'll come read you!