RAD Valentines!

You are safe.
You are loved.
You will always be loved.
I will never leave you.
I see great hope for your future.
I'm so glad I'm your mom.
You are a gift from God.
I wish you could see what I see when I look at you.
You are so handsome.
You are so smart.
You are sweet.

All these are affirmations our children need to hear. They feel so bad about themselves. How bad does a child have to be to have a mom not want them? Not feed them? It is not their fault. SHE had the problems she did not deal with.

For Valentine's I am making each of my kids a little book. Nothing fancy. It will have an acrostic on the front of their name simialr to this:

Terrific
Amiable
Zesty

On the inside it will say Why I love you and then all the pages will tell why. Give some special love on Valentine's Day. Don't expect anything in return. Just give it because it is from your heart.

Happy Valentine's Day

Expectations: Sometimes having expectations of what a day should be like can lead to disappointment. Often our kids with RAD see special days as days they do not deserve. Or if there is too much closeness they fight to push you away. On Valentine's Day tread softly. They love us in the way they were taught long ago. They love us the best they can. The best gift we can give each of our children is too love them as they are. That would be a great Valentine's Day gift. Give it with no thought of what you will get in return, because it might just be too hard for them to even be nice. It's ok. They will heal. Just not today. Happy Valentine's Day!

Oh and PS: The drawing is by Rick at http://organizeddoodles.blogspot.com/ Thanks Rick.