Stop the madness!!

Some regression going on here. It is expected during the Christmas season. Doesn't make it much easier now does it. We went to Fish's first swim meet of the season last night. I stopped ahead and bought Subway before left. Part way through the meet Dad runs out and gets it out of the car. I know Teddy ALWAYS gets a ham and bacon with lettuce and tomato on Italian Parmesan. ALWAYS. He ate some nacho Doritos last time so that is what I bought this time....and a bottle of Sprite. He sat down and said these were the wrong chips. He started slamming things around. Hubby said "Move over to the side and eat." which put him about 5 feet away. He stomped down there and started screaming "I HATE YOU. I HATE ALL OF YOU" Public humiliation is always good for the soul. A little later a friend walked by. She pulled me off to the side and told me that Teddy had told her a few weeks ago how mean he is and that he is going to go live with a different family. Ack. I'm sure the progress he has made is scary to him. He apologized later. I accepted. We will have a big talk this evening now that he has calmed down and discuss where his feelings are coming from and what he will do as restitution.

Horrible moments become teachable moments if you work at it. Don't miss opportunities!

People Say Thngs When They are Mad

Bear has been very angry at us for going out of town. We did this while his twin brother, Fish, was out of town at a swim meet/then missions trip. The anxiety is through the roof. I figure I can look at it two ways. He is "making me pay" which may be true. Or he is just so filled with anxiety and fear of abandonment while I am gone he is letting out acting on it rather than saying it. I have decided it is more productive to go with the second one. He has said some pretty cruel things to me upon our return whenever dad is out of the house. Makes me want to follow dad around!!! His justification is "People say things when they are mad that they don't mean."

A) He has just admitted he didn't mean any of it. Which says the fear was talking.
B) We are all (read:mom's included) responsible for what we say when we are angry whether we mean it or not. So this will be our topic for discussion for the day. Yesterday there was no talking only anger. Look under the anger, and you will find fear or sadness. Look under your own anger and you will find the same thing. fear or sadness.

Do I regret going out of town. NO WAY. My husband and I had the BEST time and I love reconnecting with him. It is worth it. It gives a chance to see where the kids are at. On a positive note, while Taz had some behavior issues before and after his attachment has once again shown to be coming along. We gave the boys money to go to a movie. Eagle dropped them off. Taz did well. Bear was afraid of kidnappers. Have a healing weekend!