Emotional Eating

A friend of mine brought up the subject of weight and how it relates to RAD. Maybe some of you have this all figured out and are doing well. I am copying and pasting my story from my website for todays post.

"Our boys joined us almost 10 years ago. While I knew that adding 3 boys with "label's" attached would add to the stress of parenting . I had no idea how much.
As they grew and changed from hyperactive kindergartners and a preschooler to teens the difficult behaviors grew also, mainly in 2 of them, (age 15) and (age 12). We went through a list of psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, doctors, and psychologists. Each gave them a "label" of some sort or a new medication. All of these things only improved behavior for a short time or not at all.
During this time the stress of feeling that if only I did the right thing ' read the right book, found the right doctor, talked to the right person' I could fix them began to take its toll. I began to eat when stressed and over the next few years gained about 35 lb.
My husband and I went on a cruise. When the photos came back I was horrified and knew it was time to do something. I joined Weight Watchers and lost the 35 lb. There are many great programs out there and I am not suggesting this is the only way. I am saying that food is not our friend. It is fuel. It is here to give us energy and strength that is all. Eating emotionally lead me in a vicious circle. I would eat to feel better, gain weight, feel worse, eat.
Now when I am tired I look at my diet. Did I have the protein at lunch that I needed. Am I drinking enough water to keep from being dehydrated? Gaining control of emotional eating is a big battle for me. I still attend Weight Watcher meetings weekly or I fall back into this pattern again."

You know, nothing has changed for me and eating. We were going to therapy on my Weight Watchers night. Now that we are not going to therapy I have started back to Weight Watchers. I missed my friends there and I missed the support. When I am at a healthy weight and feeling physically strong I also feel emotionally stronger. I think I just don't wear out as fast. If this is a battle for you I hope you will find a plan that will work for you. I don't believe in diets and quick fixes. I think it has to be a life style change you can live with from this point on. I choose to live on Weight Watchers plan the rest of my life. It is the only way I can maintain my weight. I want to be healthy for my children, my husband and for myself. I feel better when I am. Also see: Weight Watchers (3)

Weight Watchers and Reactive Attachment Disorder

What do they have in common? Quite a bit actually. I have learned numerous tools in Weight Watchers that have helped me with parenting my children with RAD. I assume because losing weight and parenting emotionally disturbed children are both matters of the mind. So here are the 7 tools of Weight Watchers and how I use them.

1. Reframing: Learning to picture situation in a different way.

WW: Instead of "I can't have that food." "I choose not to eat that food."

RAD: Instead of "My child is full of rage." "My child is ill."

2. Positive self talk: Instead of having allowing the negative thoughts to dominate, talk to yourself positively

WW: "You are strong enough to do this. It will be worth it"

RAD: "ditto" : )

3. Motivating strategy: Find what motivates you and use it

WW: For me, getting physically fit was a big motivation.

RAD: See my child learn to love, trust and feel safe is huge.

4. Anchoring: Find your inner strength

WW: I find spiritual strength in God, physical strength from exercise, emotional strength in friends.

RAD: "ditto"

5. Storyboarding: Walk through the steps or "story" of how this should look.

WW: Before an event create a plan. Each day have a plan of how I want my eating to be scheduled. For me it helps to plan the food for the entire day and stick with it.

RAD: Learning how I should respond and also some proactive parenting behaviors for myself in attachment therapy and in books has helped.

6. Mental Rehearsing: Practice it. Believe it.

WW: For example, if you are going to be around a food pusher, practice what you will say to them.

RAD: Practice positive responses and behaviors to his negative behavior.

7. Empowering beliefs: Believe that you can do this.

WW: Believe that weight loss will happen.

RAD: Believe your child will heal.

I hope these will help you. They are also called Winning Outcomes. Know that you will reach your goal if you follow these steps. If we don't believe, who will?

Emotional Eating

This is huge. What am I saying? This makes me huge! Emotional Eating has been a constant battle for me for the last nine years. At one point I had gained 34 lb. Above is my before and after photos. I have lost it through Weight Watchers but I still need to go to the meetings every week to keep from falling back into it. Guess its my AA only the addiction is food. A child with RAD starts screaming and I start reaching for chocolate. So here is what I try hard to do now. Exercise every day and pour my stress into my work out. I try to get mad as I start. It makes a ginormous difference (thanks for the word Renee). I take time for myself. I talk it out. I do this blog. I pray. Food is not our friend it is only fuel. Sooooo as I battle my emotions today, I will pray for the strength to make wise choices about what fuel I choose. A few of my favorite diet/exercise websites are: http://www.weightwatchers.com/ http://www.dwlz.com/ and http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/