The helicopter hovers over the child making sure their every move is correct. She worries and fusses over everything they eat, what they say, how they treat others to the point of being fused into the relationship with her child in an unhealthy way. It is hard for the child to have a separate identity and blossom and grow as an individual. The child can become anxious and as a teen rebel against the hovering parent. Or they may wait until they leave home and then let 'er rip. Or they could just become a neurotic worried person themselves.
The second is the drill Sargent parent.
The drill Sargent believes her children should do what she says when she says. There should be no disagreement, no variance, no friction. Orders are snapped out and their is little affection. Directions are given concisely and the house is run like a ship by a captain.
Last is the parent who has landed some where safely in the middle of those two extremes. This parent gives loving guidance but allows the child to make mistakes. Making mistakes while they are at home gives them the chance to learn from them and grow. They feel free to be themselves while the parent models, talks with them about choices and gives sensible consequences when necessary. Love and affection are given freely, but there are safe boundaries in which the child should stay. These boundaries expand as the child shows the ability to make safe choices and matures. The child will sometimes fail as we all do. The parent's will sometimes fail as we all do. But forgiveness and restoration are practiced.
None of us are perfect. We all are a work in progress. We keep on keeping on.
