Fish and Teddy will be 19 this month. In Nebraska the age of majority is 19. So we are in transition time. Fish will be going away to college in another state. Teddy, however, is transitioning into independent living. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. No stress. I'm working with 5 or so agencies and the list just keeps growing. He is going to get disability as an adult which will help. We are working with several agencies trying to get him a part time job. I do not know if this is possible and I do not know if he can stick with it if he gets one. As a young adult his mental health disorders have become so much more serious. I've learned more in the last year on transition than I thought possible. I'm working on finding him this wide variety of services in hopes of giving him a sufficient life as a young adult. Teddy has RAD. This means he still sees me as mean and untrustworthy. So he continues his "push mom away" behaviors in order to feel safe. Meanwhile he is stressed from the thought of living on his own. I assure him constantly that we will be right here. We are not going any where. We will be there to help and answer questions. We are not pushing him out of the nest and saying "Good luck". BUT he does not trust....So how can he believe this is true.
We are planning a family vacation later this summer. He is going. I have pointed out to him that we are inviting him along because we want him there. We do not have too any more. We could easily leave him at his home, which should be in place by then. But we WANT to take him along. This only makes him angry because he think I say this sort of thing to make him feel "bad". Strong emotions still go straight to sadness or fear. When I say "I want you there". He hears "You are so mean to me. You don't deserve it. You should feel bad."
RAD with a young adult child is a road we are just beginning. It will be difficult. It is what we do because we are parents who NEVER NEVER QUIT.
We are planning a family vacation later this summer. He is going. I have pointed out to him that we are inviting him along because we want him there. We do not have too any more. We could easily leave him at his home, which should be in place by then. But we WANT to take him along. This only makes him angry because he think I say this sort of thing to make him feel "bad". Strong emotions still go straight to sadness or fear. When I say "I want you there". He hears "You are so mean to me. You don't deserve it. You should feel bad."
RAD with a young adult child is a road we are just beginning. It will be difficult. It is what we do because we are parents who NEVER NEVER QUIT.
