Personalized Parenting

I have 5 kids. 5 personalities. 5 precious souls. Over the years one line I became very tired of was "Does your child have any social activities?" Yes. My 3 emotionally healthy children had what I felt was a healthy balance of activities including church activities, soccer, dance, swim team, swim lessons depending on the person and the age. We tried every activity known to mankind for my two with RAD. They were kicked off, got in fights, bullied other kids, broke things....it was horrible. I finally thought. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Just because other people think my kids need to be in these things does that mean it is what they need right now?  It really gave them many many opportunities to fail. To alienate other kids and adults. It was truly horrible.

But they have come so far. Taz is actually taking Mixed Martial Arts. Yes. You heard me. It is perfect for him at this time in his life. I watched for the last 5 minutes. I only worried a tiny bit when I dropped him off about whether he was holding it together in class. He fit in perfectly. It gives him the rough physical activity he craves. He gets to learn to be aggressive in a good way.  Would I EVER have a kid with RAD try this? NOOOO!!!!! Eight years ago he would have seen it as a chance to kick the you know what out of every kid in the class + the teacher. Is Teddy in this class. Uh Uh. No. He is still too angry. He has his art anyway. His art is still showing a lot of deep anguish.  Good self expression. A little scary to look at. Plus we are working with Vocational Rehabilitation on job skills. Good organization!

My point today is...trust yourself...if social activities are too hard for you child then wait until they do some healing. Don't cave in to what others tell you. Trust your gut mama.