Defensiveness

I find that one of the things that really gets in my way is my own defensiveness. Teddy is always on the defensive himself. Always looking for danger. The world is his scary place.  So how does a person who thinks they are in grave danger behave? As though  their very lives are at risk.

He does not trust. He is angry because anger feels stronger than fear. He gives short sharp answers. Is sarcastic and unkind.

It is easy to become defensive myself.

Kind answers turn away wrath.  When Teddy makes himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich he leaves a mess on the counter of crumbs and jelly.  Instead of rolling my eyes and saying something defense myself a simple, pleasant "Could you wash the counter when you are finished please?" Gives me back a pleasant "Sure."  Should I have to tell an 18 year old to clean up after himself? Probably not. But I can set the atmosphere in the house. 

The old adage "If mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy." comes to mind. Don't feed the fear. Don't validate the feeling he is not safe.  Angry eyes, a set jaw and snappy answers do just that.

I find that in providing a healing home the biggest battle lies within me.

Listening Therapy

Long day today! We had to drive to one town for Occupational Therapy and then to another town to the psychiatrist. We are keeping medication the same. We really think the tactile defensiveness is interfering with a lot of Bear's issues. We began something new in OT today called Listening Therapy. Here is a link with some information: http://www.vitallinks.net/PDF/TL%20Background%20web%20std.pdf Bear wore headphones and listened to a special kind of music (Mozart) that had been distorted to change the way his brain works. I'm anxious to see how it works. If it works well we will check and see if insurance will pick up any cost of buying the equipment. Bear is like a puzzle with some pieces missing. We will find them!

Oh and I also need to point out that on the bottom of pages 2 and 3 of that link there are stories of 2 adopted children with symptoms that could be RAD. For them they were symptoms of Sensory Integration Dysfunction. The changes from listening therapy for them were miraculous.

On a personal note I woke up with PINK EYE. My contacts bothered me in class Monday night but I just didn't wear them on Tuesday so thouht I was fine. I wore them yesterday and had to stop and take them out and my eye was read. I woke up this morning and ....GROSS. I go to the eye doctor at 3 anyway. Unfortunately I have 3 other appointments before that. I thought I could wear sunglasses but turns out it is dark and cloudy.

Brenda