Friday, April 16, 2010

The Russian Adoption News Story

The adoption world is abuzz with talk about the child who was sent back to Russia. The details of what all went on in the home are still being investigated.  Here are my thoughts on it.  RAD is so hard. There have been times I have regretted adopting.(those times are fleeting!) There have been times I have searched for a residential placement. I believe that there are times when disruption of an adoption is appropriate.  It is never appropriate to abandon a child.  ATTACH has issued a statement

"Support for Adoptive Families

The Association for Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children (ATTACh)

advocates for improved treatment services for children who have experienced significant

traumas early in life that affect their attachment to a parent. Nationally based, ATTACH

is a unique organization comprised of mental health therapists, parents, child welfare

professionals and other child advocates.

Sadly, many parents throughout the world lack the resources and ability to provide the

safe, nurturing environment needed by all children during infancy and childhood to

promote normal development. As a result, their foundation for healthy development is

damaged so that they have difficulty forming loving, lasting, close relationships. These

children can suffer from insecurity in their attachment relationships, and, in the most

severe cases, from disturbances and disorders of attachment. Parents, teachers, and others

in helping roles can find that children with this condition are less responsive to direction,

less eager to please and more aggressive. These children may be at increased risk for

serious psychological problems in adolescence and adulthood.

Families who adopt children through international adoption or the foster care system often

need a great deal of information, education, support and services to help maintain the

placement or help families make good choices for treatment or alternative care.

ATTACh is a source of publications, education and support as well as a referral service to

clinicians knowledgeable of attachment and trauma-focused therapy. Proper diagnosis,

treatment and support will help change the future for these children, their families - and our


My interpretation of this is that we, as adoptive families, are here to support one another and encourage each other. If anything this sad story should spur us on to educate and reach out.  Yes. We as moms need support. We need to find it out but I think we also have a responsibility to reach out to other families as well.

Have a healing day!


~Dinah said...

I read the press release over at the ATTACh site yesterday----thanks for reposting!

Life's Mom said...

I am so sad for both the boy and the adoptive mom. There were a few times it seemed our adoption could disrupt, so I really can feel her anguish and exhaustion. However, I was amazed that she never sought any therapy for him! I wish she had found support and eduction. The boy really could have been starting to attach to his mom and was throwing her his best stuff. I am sad for the boy as this will make it so much harder for him to ever attach to anyone. Rejection is such a cruel blow for a child.

I am so grateful for all of the support we have received. My therapist is amazing. We decided yesterday that late March/early April must be some sort of trauma anniversary for her. We really struggled this time last year as well - with no obvious trigger. The flowers began to bloom this week and she is really coming out of it. She has been very pleasant now for several days. Her therapist and I decided to try to "trick" her senses next year and plant some winter flowers! :)

I have at least 5 vases of roses and iris' that she has picked for me. One came with a note about how I am the best mom ever. :) Oh how far we have come! Never ever quit!

Anonymous said...

Our daughter, adopted from Russia at age 7, has always had RAD issues -- but they were manageable -- until she reached the teen years. When her raging became out of control, we did seek appropriate help -- but it was too late. Because in the state of PA where we live, by law a child 14 or older is considered an adult in the mental health world. Which means she can decide whether or not she wants in patient or out patient treatment, whether she wants medication or not. We are in a situation where our daughter, 16 now, needs some serious mental health intervention -- but we are being told that it is all voluntary -- even a doctor can't force her into treatment. She is a danger to our other children, and we are going to be forced to get Children & Youth involved to place her outside of our home. That is for our other children's protection -- but there is NO HELP for our daughter because of her age and because of her unwillingness or desire for help. It is a sad, sad situation.

Brenda said...


My heart goes out to you. I'll keep you in my prayers. It sounds like you have tried every resource you can think of. I know there are a few out of state residentials that treat RAD. I'm not sure what the rules are. I could get the names of them if you are interested.

Kathy said...

I have searched high and low for help with reactive attachment therapy where I live, and it just doesn't exist. An excellent therapist used to come to idaho to treat RAD kids 8 years ago, and we had a year and a half with him, which was invaluable. Now they are teenagers and we can't get help when we need it the most. I am hovering near rupture with my 14 yr. old. Wish that these treatment centers were more accessible to my family.

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