The Parent Email chain that runs through the ATTACH membership has been chatting about residential treatment. I do not know about any of these facilities personally so can not give a thumbs up but they are recommended by other parents of kids with RAD. Do your research carefully.
CALO is an attachment based residential treatment facility in Ozark, MO. They take kids from ages 13-18.
Villa Santa Maria also specializes in attachment disorder. It is in the Sandia Mountains outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico. They accepts children from ages 5-14.
Chaddock in Quincy IL treats many behavioral issues but also has a department dealing with attachment and trauma issues. They take children between 8-16 for the attachment program.
There may be others of which I am not aware. Please share if you know of residential treatment specializing in attachment. Like I said, these are not personal endorcements by me because I have only heard from other parents and looked through the websites but I think they are worth reviewing more carefully if you are in need.
These are the times I think residential is appropriate:
When the other children,yourself, or the traumatized child (by self injury) are in danger.
When you have tried attachment therapy, EMDR therapy and the therapists let you know that this is more severe than the treatment they give can help.
When respite is appropriate:
When you are burned out.
When you feel you cannot go on.
In order to keep from getting burned out, respite for an evening or weekend regularly can be a big plus!
During those times I think therapy for yourself can help, especially if you are dealing with trauma from your own past. Makes sure you care for yourself. You are doing a hard job. If there are no options for residential and that is what you believe is appropriate check on a foster parent list (from social services) for those who do respite and take it when you need it. That may be what gets you through.
Never, never, never quit.....but don't do nothing....be proactive....parent on purpose.
4 comments:
On respite - we did not leave it up to chance that we could find someone. We asked three different couples from our church if they would consider helping us with respite BEFORE "Life" came to live with us. We told them wabout some of the challenges we were expecting and told them to think and pray about it. We made sure they had every opportunity to say no. All three couples said yes!! They went through all of the necessary training. In fact, our agency did a special trianing for us all on Saturdays and we all did the training together. Since we knew a little what Life had thrown at previous foster families, we were actually trained specifically for her. Even with CPS long out of the picture now, all three families are still a great help to me. These families operate like aunts and uncles to her. She loves them all dearly.
Just a thought, but if you do not have respite, you might try to raise some up. Many people have a heart for hurting children. I have been very blessed by my respite providers.
Life's Mom,
I love this idea. Thanks for sharing.
heads up, the key phrases in Sissy's chart that "won" her an approval from insurance for RTC placement:
sexual ideation
suicidal ideation
homicidal rage
unsafe in the home
threat to self and others
violent
saying that WE needed respite or that we were suffering from PTSD because of Sissy's behaviors accomplished nothing. Because she is a minor, the harm she causes to others (because it isn't criminal, yet) is not factored into the need for placement.
her discharge was based on the absence of those behaviors that caused the need for placement. She was no longer suicidal, her sexual ideations ceased (returned immediately when sent home), her rage toward herself and others ceased (returned immediately when sent home)
that said, because Sissy reescalated in every regard except suicidal ideation, placement at RTC benefitted only her family in the sense that we finally got the respite we needed.
FYI, as I said to her therapist this week, it's only a matter of time before she returns to suicidal ideation. RTC was not helpful, a blip on the radar that is Sissy's life. She can't even tell you why she was there.
I love your phrase, "parent on purpose." That will be stuck in my mind a while.
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