Monday, March 1, 2010

RAD anger

RAD anger can actually be pretty easily deflected. I'm not talking about a full blown rage here. But when your child is angry and throwing verbal daggers at everyone there are a couple of things that work for us.

One is changing the subject.  Think of the movie UP!

I have used something similar to this so many times. In the middle of a heated conversation. "What do you all want for dinner tonight?" "Look at that weird building" "I think Madison needs her nails trimmed" (dog)

OR make faces. Practice some really ugly ones in the mirror and make them at times of early escalation. If you wait to long it won't work. If you do it early on you might be surprised by the response!

Remember: When things get too tense. Release the squirrels!!!!

Have a healing day!


Jennie said...

I am a master at changing the subject to divert escalating RAD rage.

sissy, however, has caught on and has become a master at ignoring my diversions.

it's all about the timing. there's this split second opportunity to divert with success or fail miserably and escalate the situation faster. I'm 50/50 for odds. lol

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else ever get tired of all this plotting and planning, strategizing and stressing?? I am just weary right now.

The school called yesterday to tell me that my daughter was sick and needed to go home DESPITE HER REPEATEDLY PLEADING NOT TO BE SENT HOME.

I can just imagine what they must be thinking at school and, honestly, I'm hurt and embarrassed . . .and I'm ashamed of myself for the way this is getting to me; I thought I was more "evolved" in this whole RAD process than this.

Today, I just wanna give up and almost feel -- for the first time in a long time -- that I just don't care anymore. I know this part will pass, but it is kicking my butt today.

I just needed to put it here to get it out. Thanks for listening.

Brenda said...

(((((((((hugs))))))))) We all have those days. I usually find when I have those days I need to spend more time being refreshed. Take some time doing something you enjoy. You emotionally need that. Care for the caregiver. Here is another hug just because ((((((hugs)))))))

marythemom said...

It's so hard being the emotional regulator and being responsible for deflecting the rages. Somedays I just don't do it. Those days my daughter's upsets almost always turn to rages. I get to feel the guilt.

Will try to remember the silly distractor when we're in the midst of it. Thanks!

Mary in TX

Brenda said...


I call "guilt" "the perfume of Motherhood". It is like one of those really smelly perfumes that everyone hates. We just keep splashing it on.

LemonyRenee' said...

"The perfume of motherhood." I LOVE that! I need to remember that as I am very guilty of slapping on more and more. Thanks.