Sometimes parenting Teddy is so confusing. He is really in the up and down swing you see when attachment begins. I have always battled the issue of reading bad intentions or manipulation into his behavior even when it is not there. He is taking a woodworking class in High School currently. He decided his last project is my Christmas present. He began by saying "I am making you something in woodshop for Christmas." Picture the little cartoon angel on one of my shoulders and the little red devil on the other.
Devil: "He has to make something and so he figures he might as well give it to you."
Angel: "He could have kept it or given it to a grandma and he chose you"
Then one day when he was mad he said "I am NOT giving you the thing I am making in woodshop." It is one of the days when I kept my cool and said "It is your decision."
Devil: "He always tries to hurt me and is never going to receive my love."
Angel: "Stay calm and look behind the words at what is going on. Address that."
The boys had a half day of school yesterday and met me at a local fast food place for lunch. Teddy came running in with his gift in a bag and said "Here. I cannot wait for you to open this. Your eyes are going to light up when you see this." I told him that part of growing up is learning to wait and that he should take it home and wrap it and put it under the tree.
Devil: "This gift is allabout him. He wants you to have to go on and on about him. I am going to here about this great gift daily for a month."
Angel:"Use this to attach. Accept it graciously and let him know how much you love him. Be the grown up."
These conversations go on in my head almost daily. Please pray for me as I open his gift that I can shower him with love.