Monday, August 10, 2009


Our oldest moved out yesterday. It was a positive move though. She got her first job as an office manager in a town about 3 1/2 hours from here. She is staying with relatives at first while she looks for a place.

Fish is very sad she has gone. They became very close over the summer and did a lot of things together.

Taz came out and hugged her goodbye and helped carry her things to the car.

Bear did not acknowledge it in any way. He really has some anger issues toward women and she is one. (She's 24). I don't think he really cares one way or the other. It is just one less person to bother him. How sad for him. How very sad to see.


Life's Mom said...

We are bracing ourselves for some sad RAD around here also. My son moves out on Saturday to begin his Freshman year at college. I think "Life" will be SO very sad. Although I expect her sad will come out in other ways. The rest of the family is sad too, but I am so happy for him. He is very excited about moving on to college life. But with this change in our family AND school starting, we are bracing ourselves for some "stormy weather."

Brenda said...

Have you started talking about things she can say or do that appropriate ways of being sad? Like writing it down, telling you, coming to ask for a hug...Also with Taz if I tell him to focus on the other person (your son) it helps. "What are some ways we can let your brother know we are thinking of him?" Having her send cards, put together care packages, calling him, etc.

peggysue said...

We have seen so much progress in this area with our daughter. I know it is sad that one of the kids did not react and has anger issues, but what a positive that Taz gave her a hug and helped!
We do hugs and she draws pictures that we send in the mail, we talk about the absent person. Sometimes it comes in affection that is overboard the other way, if you KWIM? The absent person is all that is wonderful and the remaining siblings can feel a bit slighted about all the affection flowing one way, but it rights itself again. That is progress over a big change from five years, three years, two years ago.

Brenda said...


That is great! I'm glad it is better. You are a great mom. Also when I am gone to class I have Taz make a sign for me of some sort to welcome me home and hang it up while I am gone. I do someting for him like bring home gum, a note, etc.

Life's Mom said...

Brenda - I had planned to have Life help me make him a goodie bag with treats for his dorm room and such. I will be more purposeful to point out appropriate ways to show sad. But I was waiting until closer to the end of the week so that I do not escalate her any earlier than necessary. :)

ali said...

for jack, "that person" is my mother. shes only just turned 61, but is a heart patient and rheumatoid/osteo arthritis sufferer, so she seems much older.(sad really). she bends over backwards-figuratively LOL- to please him, loves thrift store shopping for him(batting gloves the minute he lost his etc..)makes him his favorite haitian cookies.... he merely takes note and gives her the brush off so badly. does he do it to hurt me or hurt her??? hmmmmmm. so very sad and un fair to her. it took her a while to accept him, and hes making her pay maybe? did he feel it perhaps?
im so happy for your daughter! does this mean kris is right behind her?(shes 20.5, junior in college) id love the bedroom(PLAYROOM!!!!) but hate to see her go. are you doing ok? HUGS! ali

Brenda said...

Life's Mom~ Please let me know of any other ideas you have as I have the one who just moved out and another leaving for college so will be happy for any new ideas.

Ali~ We didn't get an extra room. The two girls have been sharing. Kind of a Felix and Oscar thing going on with Oscar having moved out so Felix is cleaning like crazy!! I don't think Jack probably is really intentionally acting like that toward anyone. I don't think they tie those acts to love. I think they really just don't get it unless we constantly point out. "I am doing this to show you I love you. Now in order to show your love, you let me know you feel that and are thankful for it." Grandmas wouldn't say all that. Our kids do not understand the give and take part of relationships.

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Brenda said...


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