Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Holding onto Hope

There are a couple of websites with great stories of hope. I want to share them and then share once again our story about Taz.

Click on these websites if you ever need some inspiration for parenting a child with RAD!

Center for Family Development

Families by Design (Nancy Thomas)~Look at the column on the left. About half way down begin articles of hope.

"I thought I'd share what recovery has looked like for youngest. Life is so much better for him and with him. This is a child who was so angry we wondered how much longer he would be safe with us. He ripped apart every piece of furniture in his room. Tore up his blinds. Pulled off wood work. Tore holes in walls. He was suspended 5 times last year for fighting at school. He was getting D's and F's on his grade card. He was in my face, calling me names, degrading and attempting to humiliate me many times a day.

So what happened? The combination of attachment therapy and EMDR therapy were nothing short of miraculous with him. He apparently had not separated me from his birth mom in his mind at all. One day in EMDR therapy she was talking about what his life was like as a baby. This was not new. Suddenly on this day my son started talking about all the good things we had done today and ways I had taken care of him when he was younger. He looked at me startled. His features softened and you could see realization on his face. Life has not been the same. His grades are up. He is a happier and much more successful person. He has a great relationship with me which I enjoy very much.

As for the tunes ups. Stress from school or home will set him back somewhat. He will become more emotional, a little more angry, and disrespectful and I know it is time for him to see the Attachment Therapist again. The reason I am sharing this story is to offer hope. For you mom's out there struggling every day, take care of yourselves. You are smart enough, strong enough and very capable of handling the situation. Get professional help involved, seek out the support of strong friends and do something each day to refresh yourself."

I copied and pasted the above from an old post about Taz. To update you even further he is now on a medication that is helping tremendously. It has nothing to do with RAD however. Once he began to show signs of trusting and loving me it was clear something was still wrong. He has such physical clumsiness and super ADHD even though on a large dose of Concerta. It is out of control without the Concerta so don't bother suggesting he go off. He is taking medication that is used for people who have had a closed traumatic brain injury and it is effective. This is not known but he had the symptoms and so his doctor decided to give it a try.

Never, never, never quit.


Life's Mom said...

Brenda - I am so glad to hear Taz is doing well. Kudos to you on your perseverence! Healing children are oh so amazing.

Here is my "take care of yourself" idea - get a hot tub! Seriously. My mother's health no longer allows her to get in one, so my parents blessed us with their hot tub. I realize they are expensive, but I would have dished out the $$ had I known how great it would be for us weary parents. :) Now, "Life" goes to bed, we wait a few minutes and head outside. It is WONDERFUL to have some time every night with just my husband and the stars. It's like a mini vacation every night. And I am sleeping so well now with the nightly relaxation time.

There are usually teenagers in my house still awake if Life were to get up, but you could take a baby monitor outside with you if you were worried.

Also, we got "Life's" adoption date. It is in one month! Finally!!

Thanks for the success stories. As we head into the school year, they might be timely to read of other people's success.

Brenda said...

Congrats on getting a date. I'd LOVE to get a hot tub. Maybe when I am working too.