Wednesday, July 8, 2009

What if we could see the arrow in their hearts?

What if we could see RAD? Maybe some type of scan that made the painful areas light up. Maybe if we could see the arrow in their hearts. How would we react to their behavior then? I hate to compare children to a dog but it fits here. When a dog has been injured it sometimes snarls or bites at those who are trying to help. It is afraid and thinks you are hurting it and are going to make the hurt worse. Much the same our children snarl and snap at us assuming the hurting they are feeling is coming from us. Today when your child is angry try picturing an arrow in their hearts. Go to them tenderly and work on helping them feel safe and comforted.

7 comments:

Hannah said...

Thanks. I needed that. It has not been a good morning. Ick!

Blessings,

Hannah

Christine said...

Two weeks ago we were watching some show on Animal Planet about dogs. The dog trainer said, "Aggression always comes out of fear."

My attachment challenged son looked up at me and we both smiled at each other. He then used his body language to say, "Dang. She's not just making stuff up." :)

With this upcoming move ... oh boyzie, yowzah! Talk about pacing ourselves. Yesterday I'm pretty sure there were more therapeutic interventions than there was eating, sleeping or peeing.

Brenda said...

Christine,

I cannot even imgine what this is going to do. How long of a transition is this going to be for you?

peggysue said...

That might be a better way to look at it than triggers. I often wish I knew what causes the flare ups, for lack of a better word. We try to discuss feelings and so far DD brushes them aside. Ever so often we see glimpses of progress into identifying feelings. She has to learn how to connect with those feelings and often it is just too much. I've noticed that sometimes when we're trying to discuss something my DD starts yawning, almost as if her body itself is going into protective mode and helping her 'shut down.' Has anyone else noticed this?

Brenda said...

Peggy sue,

BOTH of my boys do this. They do it at therapy or during any serious conversation. Journaling is a good way to work on emotions. I have a post on it somewhere. It is probably labeled journaling.

peggysue said...

Journaling is a great idea once she gets older. At age seven we are still learning how to write, but I like that idea.

Brenda said...

At 7 she is not too young. She can draw pictures of something that made her happy, sad, mad or glad that day.