This evening my husband and I are going to a neighboring town to stay at a motel. We will eat out, catch a movie and go for massages. It will be about 24 hours of R and R. RAD can be hard on a marriage if you let it get between you. Remember to spend time together just having fun. When it is nice out my husband and I go play 9 holes of golf. We have no idea what we are doing. We don't keep score. We just have fun. It is out in the country, beautiful landscape and often no one else is around. We are not in a hurry. During financially difficult times we would sometimes just go to Burger King and buy a small drink so we could sit and talk. We don't talk about the kids. We don't talk about RAD. We just have fun! It is a healing time for us both. Remember to take care of your heart and his.
3 comments:
Brenda,
The hardest time I have with this (and Lord, we NEED it, badly) is not knowing with whom I can leave her (the RADish). Part of this is that we moved to a new community, so we don't know anyone. But also, she can't stay with a "normal" sitter. She is going to act out ahead of time to try and ruin our plans. And we will have to "pay" afterwards for enjoying ourselves.(Although frankly, it's not much worse than normal, everyday "paying" for just being her Mom.) So even though I know that we NEED to take a break, I don't know HOW to go about doing so. Suggestions?
I would say that since you made the comment that you are paying every day anyway, that you need this time away with your husband whether your daughter will act up with a normal sitter or not.
I would suggest you ask at church or find a local community, Christian or four year college and get a girl to babysit who is older than teenage. Write out your directions for bedtime, snacks allowed, TV yes or no, and explain to the sitter (who is older) that while some children have special physical needs, she has special emotional needs and that the sitter needs to stick to your instructions. Then shut the door behind you and enjoy time with your DH.
Corey,
I'd try calling social services and asking for experienced foster parents who do respite. My boys are making me pay now. It is still worth it.
Brenda
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