Monday, July 20, 2009

Enough RAD Drama for Day time TV!!

When my daughters were younger they liked the show Seventh Heaven. It was a mom and dad with seven kids. As the kids grew into teens, the drama became more serious. The conversations sounded exhausting.

I feel like those are the kinds of conversations going on at our house these days. With two college students and three teen boys (1 with RAD and 1 one healing from RAD) the serious conversations go on throughout the day and evening.

So why was I blindsided? I wasn't paying attention. Taz and Bear have been acting out loud and long the last couple of today's and today it really escalated.

I am now at Panera Bread with an orange scone, a cup of coffee and my laptop. I present my paper in Human Growth I class tonight and then it is over. I have Ethics in Counseling tomorrow night and then my summer begins.

BUT today Dancer went back to camp after a long weekend at home. Tomorrow Fish leaves on a two week swim meet and then missions trip. I should have seen this coming a mile away but I have been going from long conversation to long conversation and missed it. Taz and Bear have gone into full "fear of abandonment" mode. And I just now realized this is what is going on. Some days are just like that. Tomorrow the talk will turn to reassurance, commitment and fear. Never, never, never quit!


Anonymous said...

I'm curious... You say your son is healing from RAD... How?

Brenda said...

Through a lot of therapy, hard work on his part and mine he has been able to separate me from birth mom. He has developed some definite signs of attachment to me. He is giving and receiving of physical affection appropriately and genuinely. He shows signs of trust by confiding in me. He has much much progress to make but has taken big steps toward a relationship with me. Let me know if I didn't answer fully.

marythemom said...

Hi Brenda,

First I want to say thank you for all of the great advice you've given me, mostly as a lurker on your site.

There is a new RAD online support web site this is just getting started. They are looking for blogs that deal with RAD and I find so much support and great advice here that you were one of the first I thought of. I hope it's OK with you that I submitted your name. Check it out if you get a chance!

Mary in TX
I'm an online mentor at:
Mom to biokids Ponito(10) and his sister Bob(13)
Sibling pair adoptive placement from NE 11/06
Finally finalized on Kitty(14) on 3/08 - 2 weeks before her 13th birthday!
Finalized on her brother Bear(16) 7/08. He turned 15 the next day.

" Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

Brenda said...


I am deeply honoroed. I have been doing a lot of thinking about my blog. You just made me realize the people I should be asking about it are YOU. We are off to counseling and then I want to post something I need to have some help with.

Thanks again Mary. I am touched.


peggysue said...

That's a great way to look at it, 'healing' from RAD. We have definite signs of healing here too and looking at those signs helps focus on the positive and not the thousands of tiny battles we have every day.