Last night I went to bed. As I lay there I hear Taz, whose room is directly under ours, making a lot of noise near his window. I opened the sliding glass door and leaned down to see his window wide open and lights on. He of course, immediately shut off the light. I ran down there to see him frantically trying to put the screen back on. Busted. There on the floor was a Weight Watchers ice cream bar. He had unlocked the sliding door in the dining room before going to bed so he could reenter there after going out his window.
Just when you think things are better.....I have not figured out exactly how I am handling this yet other than I will put tape on his window. I don't know if I have told you, if you don't have alarms and don't want all the neighbors awakened because your child WILL set them off, one small piece of tape across the closing will work too. You don't know right then but if the seal is broken in the moring someone has been out.
P.S. Oh good. He is angry and defiant this morning. N doubt a combinatin of guilt about what he did and anger for having been "found out". So now we deal on regulating the emotions first.
13 comments:
Before we got the door alarm purchased and set up, we had tape on all the kitchen cabinets.
Guess we should be thankful for tape. He is not regulated. We need to talk about what he is going to do to make things right.
He can't have an ice cream? What's up with that? I'm not trying to be obnoxious, but my kids routinely help themselves to snacks at night. As long as they clean up after themselves and put things back where they belong it's no biggie. They're regular kids. I guess kids with RAD can't have snacks at night without clearing it with you first?
Of course he can have ice cream. In fact, there is a whole box of popcycles in the freezer just for them. If he was hungry before bed I would have fixed him a wonderful snack if he asked. He just can't climb out the window at night and come back in through the door and eat MY diet ice cream. Do you think that might have been significant? I love my kids and will never keep food from them. They have a lot of emotional issues about food from the neglect that had their first few years.
Brenda, you gave a nice, brief explanation to "anonymous" but if "anonymous" were to read for comprehension or have some more life experience, it wouldn't have been necessary. Besides, what sort of mother would let their children sneak out the window and go outside at night--RAD or no RAD? Duh!
I am sorry Brenda. I am have some of the same type of issues with Michael. We have had to lock the pantry and now the fridge. And no my kids can not have ice cream anytime they decide they want it!! They would eat the whole box! He snuck my keys one day this week and got into the freezer ice cream. Does Taz only sneak sweets? That is all Michael will take.
Don't know why my post just said Anonymous!! That was from me, Juanita. Just this second found out that M snuck out the back door climbed over the 6 foot high privacy fence to try to get Circus Peanuts out of the trash can!!! I asked him if he was starving because we just had lunch not very long ago. I just had a long talk with him this morning. I thought I got through, looks like I didn't.
Juanita,
Actually he craves sweets and refined carbs. He can eat a half a loaf of bread, a package of buns, an entire box of Slimfast Bars. It has nothing to do with appetite but emotional hunger. I think all of us adults know what it is like to emotionally feed ourselves. That is what they are doing. What I have been doing and having some success with is feeding them very healthy meals and then providing sugary snacks but the snacks are from me for them given with great flare. (on the deck served with lemonade, done with me while we all talk about how good it is and how I prepared this for them because I love them) Taz has eaten bags of sugar, cake mixes and seems to be out of control when he does it. The fact that he did this last night and is a mess today tells me he is hurting now. So we search to get to the bottom of it. Think I'll go bake brownies.
Amazon sells wireless door and window alarms. It is a little over $50 for a set. You attach the little boxes to your windows and doors and when the seal is broken, the alarm goes off at the central box (we keep ours next to our bed) so no one else can hear it but you. This way it doesn't add to their anxiety :)
tubaville,
THANK YOU.That is my main concern on window alarms. Waking up the neighbors. I will take a look at those.
We thought we were past this finally so foolishly when we moved, we did not install the alarms. We discovered in a recent secret "test" we tried, that the tape on the bedroom door had been broken. Time to put the alarms back up. OYE. Well, we need to keep everyone safe in every way. Alarms don't hurt anyone. Sneaking does.
I've been reading your posts with interest since I found your blog, I wish my DH would allow me to set a door alarm on DDs door, I actually bought one and he made me return it to the store. It isn't safe for a seven year old to wander at night and I know she's doing it because frequently I've awoken earlier than my usual time and found her coming UP the stairs and she sees me and jumps out of her skin, "Mom, what are YOU doing up so early?" I like the idea of the tape though . . . I will start that first thing.
Having walked in Brenda's shoes with a RAD kiddo of my own, AND having parented 5 other kids, some "normal" and some with labels as serious as FAS and Bipolar and other health issues, I can say that parenting my daughter with RAD was the hardest thing I have ever done. NO ONE can second guess what it is like to walk this road. Imagine giving and giving and giving your love and time and caring and being rejected, feared and blamed for what another Mother has done to them? It is a walk that no one else can understand and it is so unfair to judge what is said on this blog without walking down this road yourself and knowing what it feels like, and without knowing how much love, time, commitment and faith it takes to just keep going one day at a time.
Linda N
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