Preparation for a new child is an exciting time for the parents and siblings. We decorate, we read up all the books on parenting and we tell everyone we know about it. I remember walking up to the door of the foster home where our boys lived and feeling like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest.
For them it is trauma. They are taken from yet another home; even if it is an orphanage, from their family; even if that family is other orphans. They leave their beds, their room, their schools, their friends. They are told these smiling strangers are their new parents. I cannot even imagine how scary that must be. If you add in RAD the fear must be through the roof. I remember at Dr. Bruce Perry's conference hearing him say that the fear kids with RAD live with is something like this. Imagine you are in a car going across tracks. Your car stalls on the tracks. You see the train coming closer, closer, you hear it. You know it is going to hit. Just as it is about to hit, someone hands you a book and says "Read me the Gettysburg Address." I'm guessing you couldn't if you wanted too.
There are some very helpful articles and blogs on preparation for your child to make this transition as easy as possible. I will include a few things I have written about our transition. The move is different for foreign and foster adoptions so I will include both.
First, Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman, PhD has an excellent article on his Center for Family Development blog on bringing home a child from an orphanage.
Here is an article on what transition was like for us. Ours was a foster care adoption.
Parenting.com has an excellent article on Toddler transition in adoption. They also have an article on Transitioning Siblings.
This article on Transitions was adopted from Kinship House.
Finally on article on Transitions from Adoption.com.
I hope these articles are helpful. This is a stressful time for all. Having realistic expectations and understanding your child's trauma are helpful. Having knowledge is powerful.