Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Finding your oasis from RAD

First of all, it is very important to not let your child's illness, RAD, become the main focus of your life. If you feel that happening step back and look at how you spend your time, thoughts, and energies. A large portion needs to be spent on healthy things. Mom's of children with this traumatic of an illness can develop PTSD, depression and anxiety. The most important part of "mom health" to me is not letting RAD become your life.
  • Spend time with the healthy relationships in your life. Do something fun with your husband, friends or healthy kids and do NOT talk about RAD.

  • Develop at least one oasis for yourself in your house ~ a restful spot where you can be alone to meditate, have a quiet time. Mine is my deck pictured above. Obviously other people in the family use it, but not in the morning. I love to go out there in the morning with my cup of coffee.
  • Exercise~ this is a huge release for stress. I have been walking but have started adding back in running again. I'd like to do a fun run by the end of the summer. Your body produces endorphins that bring a feeling of well being when you exercise rigorously. If you feel you can't leave home, buy a set of hand weights and keep them under the couch. I used to walk in place during the TV show and do floor exercises during the commercials.

  • Pick back up an old hobby or develop a new one. I love taking pictures of flowers. Maybe I'll add some of those photos above as well. I also do some scrap booking but am currently reorganizing the whole big mess of scrap booking supplies and photos.

  • Build your support. One of the worst things about RAD is the feeling of being alone. I have a therapist that I see when ever things become to much. I have a couple of close friends with whom I can talk about RAD. Be careful about dumping on your husband every day. Your relationship has to be about other things too. Mainly about other things. Look for adoption support groups in your area. If there isn't one consider starting one.
  • Develop your spiritual life. Every Sunday as I stand in our church singing songs of praise I feel my mood lift. The words of the pastor or teachers give me other things to think about. Things I need to think about. They encourage and challenge me. I also find a large group of supportive friends. If you feel criticized or condemned in your church, which some of you have mentioned; venture out to try a new one. Not all are that way, believe me.

I am not talking about self indulgence here. I am talking about having a heart that is willing to serve others. When you take basic care of yourself then you CAN take care of others. If you don't do this you will wear down and run out of gas. Any time I begin to feel overwhelmed I take a step back and look to see where I am not caring for myself. I look at my spiritual, emotional and physical self care. Have a healing day. Sometimes it needs to be "Physician heal thyself!"


Rose Adoption Journey said...

Amen and Amen..love the pictures.

BeckyJoie at Leaders in Learning said...

I LOVE this post! That is so true. I have some of those oasis places. It is easy to get caught up so much in our children's needs that we find ourselves depleted. I often have to step back and defragment myself through finding that peaceful place. I don't do it enough, but thanks to this post, I will now! Great thoughts!