Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Once your child starts making progress with Attachment if you watch closely there are little indications he is slipping. Look at the photo above. Taz is looking over his glasses. He is blind as a bat. When he looks over his glasses he cannot see you. It is a way of not making eye contact. When he is doing well he looks at you through the lenses so he can see you. I will walk in the morning and he will be asleep on the floor. I will start finding a lot of broken pencils. I touch his arm and instead of melting I feel his tension. He stops asking for bedtime hugs.

Of course there are bigger indicators of bigger problems such as grades slipping, increases in food hoarding, binging or refusing to eat, breaking of bigger objects and the defiance.

If we learn those little physical cues and indicators it is easier to get back on track. We immediately go back to EMDR therapy and go back to the therapeutic parenting behaviors: empathy,(we should always have that anyway) gentle touch, loving eyes, but also regressing a little in how we treat him. Go back to a little younger in our expectations and in our treatment of him. I'm not talking about infancy here but just a few years. It seems to give him security and bring him back out of it.

If your child is not to this point yet please be encouraged by those who are progressing. I love reading on your blogs about the progress many of you are making. It is so exciting and encouraging to me with Bear!! Having a healing day!


Torina said...

I juse had a total DUH moment. Tara always wears her glasses at the bottom of her nose. RARELY does she push them up and she gets mad at us when we suggest that she do so. Ah ha. Now I know why. Duh.

Brenda said...

I think it was more obvious to me because Taz had no glasses when he came at age 3. He would fall, go to strangers, sit close to the tv. We thought it was a combination RAD and hearing loss from repeated ear infections. We had his hearing checked and it was fine. We had his vision checked and it was 20/200 in each eye. He did not recognize people he knew when he saw them for the first time with glasses. He had no realized there was a picture of him on the wall. So we know how dramatic his difference is.

familygregg said...

All I can say is "yes." Sometimes I feel as if you read my mind. Lack of true (authentic) eye contact and broken journal.