Friday, December 19, 2008

RAD: What to do?




I thought it might be helpful as I go through the seminar to talk about some of the things we have done to address the issues mentioned. Yesterday was about the feelings of fear, sadness and aggression. Our children don't feel safe and comfortable in their own homes. They show it in a lot of ways. One of mine just paces the floor. Even in his room he will just pace. He can't settle on one activity. They don't remember directions. They used to ask often if we could sell our house and move. They fight constantly and it turns very physical very fast. Ignoring it would mean I don't mind things being broken as they crash around. They constantly are on the search for sugar. It is a desperate need to fill the whole in their hearts with sweetness. They cannot ask for the sugar but want to sneak it because adults don't know to feed their children. Our youngest would insist on sleeping with a flashlight aimed at the window for fear of the "bad guys" coming through it during the night. I believe this is part of why he sleeps on the floor when disregulated. He is not safe. The need to live in absolute filth, to urinate on and break as much as possible and destroy their rooms keeps people away and give them chaos. Oh what else.....well, it doesn't matter. You get the idea and have experienced probably a lot of the same things.


So...we have signs up all over talking about our much we love our family. I have posted some of them. We have family photos every where. When we pull in the drive I often say "It feels so good to be home." While at home "Our home is so cozy." If I see one of them doing a quiet activity I like to go sit near them and read a book. The silence and contentment can be felt. Sometimes they will get up and go to another room if I do it, but sometimes they stay. Family game night, (I have to be honest here. I have always hated board games and so make myself play only on occasion but will sometimes come and make sure I am near while they play with dad), reading, popcorn and a meaningful video you can discuss, washing the car, and going for a walk. Those are some of our family activities. Yes. They will sometimes sabotage the effort, but sometimes they will do it and it means something whether you know it or not. Praying together, going to church together, and having a devotional time together have helped too. I just bought a CD that is Christian Meditation. It was very calming. Bear loved it. He is doing so well. Taz thought it was annoying and bounced around a lot but he will learn. The thing I liked was that you can do it in "Strong sitting" pose. There is a yoga term...Lotus? Maybe. It allows the blood to flow freely to your brain and opens your chest so you can breath deeply. There is some difference of opinion on Strong sitting. I'll talk about that tomorrow. Have a healing day. Get in lots of snuggles, feed your child caramels or ice cream from your hand to their mouth, physical touch at what level it is accepted, loving eyes and empathy!





7 comments:

Christine said...

One of the HUGE advantages of our curriculum we use is that it is so reading intensive. I can decide how much of the reading is done aloud by me, or individually by the kids.

Every school day I spend about an hour reading to all the kids. It is such a wonderful way to engage everyone in an adventure, while sitting quietly - together, and it is facilitated by my voice.

It's gold! It was tough for my RADishes at first, so I made modifications and slowly worked our way up to the point we are now. We keep lots of sensory items available to keep their hands busy.

We can do family meals, as long as Mom or Dad determines the seating arrangement. :)

Brenda said...

This is great Christine. What curriculum do you use? We have assigned seats at dinner.

Nelly said...

I truly love reading your blog!!! I live in Nebraska too. I would love to go to some of the trainings on RAD. We use "strong sitting" with our girls.

Brenda said...

I posted at your blog too. I know of a couple of conferences in Omaha in the spring!

Torina said...

We have used strong sitting at the recommendation of Tara's therapist. I haven't really heard much about it. The old school refused to do it and thought it was cruel. Weird, because inflicting punishment is MUCH crueler and that was what they chose to do...curious as to what other people say. It was a great way to help her regulate herself.

Melissa said...

Great post! Thanks for taking the time to write all these posts! Your news of Bear's healing is just fantastic!!

Jules said...

"feed your child caramels or ice cream from your hand to their mouth"

Wow. That is just unbelievably creepy.