I thought it might be helpful as I go through the seminar to talk about some of the things we have done to address the issues mentioned. Yesterday was about the feelings of fear, sadness and aggression. Our children don't feel safe and comfortable in their own homes. They show it in a lot of ways. One of mine just paces the floor. Even in his room he will just pace. He can't settle on one activity. They don't remember directions. They used to ask often if we could sell our house and move. They fight constantly and it turns very physical very fast. Ignoring it would mean I don't mind things being broken as they crash around. They constantly are on the search for sugar. It is a desperate need to fill the whole in their hearts with sweetness. They cannot ask for the sugar but want to sneak it because adults don't know to feed their children. Our youngest would insist on sleeping with a flashlight aimed at the window for fear of the "bad guys" coming through it during the night. I believe this is part of why he sleeps on the floor when disregulated. He is not safe. The need to live in absolute filth, to urinate on and break as much as possible and destroy their rooms keeps people away and give them chaos. Oh what else.....well, it doesn't matter. You get the idea and have experienced probably a lot of the same things.
So...we have signs up all over talking about our much we love our family. I have posted some of them. We have family photos every where. When we pull in the drive I often say "It feels so good to be home." While at home "Our home is so cozy." If I see one of them doing a quiet activity I like to go sit near them and read a book. The silence and contentment can be felt. Sometimes they will get up and go to another room if I do it, but sometimes they stay. Family game night, (I have to be honest here. I have always hated board games and so make myself play only on occasion but will sometimes come and make sure I am near while they play with dad), reading, popcorn and a meaningful video you can discuss, washing the car, and going for a walk. Those are some of our family activities. Yes. They will sometimes sabotage the effort, but sometimes they will do it and it means something whether you know it or not. Praying together, going to church together, and having a devotional time together have helped too. I just bought a CD that is Christian Meditation. It was very calming. Bear loved it. He is doing so well. Taz thought it was annoying and bounced around a lot but he will learn. The thing I liked was that you can do it in "Strong sitting" pose. There is a yoga term...Lotus? Maybe. It allows the blood to flow freely to your brain and opens your chest so you can breath deeply. There is some difference of opinion on Strong sitting. I'll talk about that tomorrow. Have a healing day. Get in lots of snuggles, feed your child caramels or ice cream from your hand to their mouth, physical touch at what level it is accepted, loving eyes and empathy!