Wednesday, November 12, 2008

10 Steps for Improving Relationships

One of my books for grad school, Mastering Social Psychology gave 10 Tips for Spouses. I think many of the tips would work for a variety relationships.

1. You can be right or you can be happy-not both. Choose wisely.

2. Learn the gentle art of cooperation.

3. Talk about the important stuff.

4. Forgive as much or more than you would like to be forgiven.

5. Celebrate what you want to see more of. Appreciation can go a long way.

6. Listen to the heart more than you listen to the words. This can lead to conflict resolution and to taking care of each other.

7. Don't be like Derren in Bewitched who wanted Samantha to stop using her magic witch powers. Encourage your partner in his or her gifts.

8. Check out your communication. It's easy to talk, but it's more difficult to communicate.

9. Take responsibility for your contributions to the problems.

10. Don't assume that just because you are married, you know how to be married.

Source: Based on information from Herring, May 20, 2001, Knight Ridder

You can put sibling relationships, parent/child relationships in place of a lot of those words and they are meaningful. We all want to improve our relationships. I think these are some great tips on how to do that. I'm printing it for the fridge!! Have a healing day!!


Dinah said...

I agree with all 10! Marriage (besides parenting) is the most difficult thing I've ever done. It takes a lot of work and somedays it would be so easy to call it quits.

Leaders In Learning said...

Good point and well put!

ali said...

can i hang a copy of this in dougs room??? LOLOLOL thanks for the reminders my friend. marriage has been easy so far(over 20 years), parenting is crazy lately! UGH.

Rachelle said...

Great tips! Thanks also for the post on birth mother love, it is a tricky subject. One all of us will have to deal with at some time, in any adoptive relationship. We all have to always remember, at least she chose life.

Emiley said...

"You can be right our you can be happy" is a pretty convicting one!! Good stuff!!

Brenda said...


My post mainly is dealing with mom's who were abusive or neglectful. I think women who give up their children at great sacrifice to their own emotional well being out of concern for their baby are a completely different story. They are courageous and loving when there are so many alternatives in our society today.