Thursday, October 9, 2008

Stuck

I'm stuck at my favorite coffee shop. : ) Really. I took my car in for some work at 8:00. They said it would be an hour and a half.They are having some problems and it is not done yet. It is 12:03 here. I was here at the coffee shop all morning doing homework and sipping on a caramel comfort. After checking on the car I am back and having lunch. I have a long list of things that need to be done at home. I have been fighting a cold and general wornoutdedness. Things need to be done. I am stuck. It reminds me of Bear though. He is stuck. Stuck in grief. That must feel so horrible. I have been reflecting the last couple of days on my therapeutic parenting or the lack thereof. Once again I must get back to the basics of gentle touch, loving eyes and emotional understanding with my boys. That is near impossible when you feel tired and worn out. So I guess God voted and said I was taking a day off! : ) I hope you have had some chances to talk about grieving the loss of birth family if your child is stuck. I have discussed it briefly with Bear and he is acting out. That means he is thinking about it. I will discuss it again tonight. Parenting emotionally hurting children is tough work. It can be done. I feel we were chosen to do it.

6 comments:

Christine said...

"...he is acting out. That means he is thinking about it."

I have to remind myself of that all. the. time. It's so easy to play the victim, instead of realizing that the thinking is confronting, and it's so very, very scary.

So, it's a good thing ... ya' know ... in theory! Not in parenting! ha!

Emiley said...

"wornoutedness"...is that an official medical term that I can use to call in sick tomorrow? I'm quite sure I have ALL of the symptoms! :-)

Brenda said...

Christine,

Yeah well, if you are anything me you have to "start over" a lot.

Emiley,

I'm sorry I'm getting a masters and sometimes I forget myself and through in big words to show off my fancy vocabulary : )

Tami Boesiger said...

Gotta say I love the term "wornoutdedness". Are you sure Webster isn't your middle name?

Torina said...

I have one child going through some grieving these days, too. Which is significant when you consider attachment difficulties. It is the first time she has missed her birthmom in a way that wasn't used to try to make me feel bad or to manipulate things her way. It has resulted in running away, screaming, and peeing her pants (significant for a teen). Yet, I see it all as progress cause she has to connect with her past to start moving into her future. Enjoy your break!!

Brenda said...

Tami,

Yes. I have Websteredness.

Torina,

It is good she is feeling it. I just had a talk with Bear about it. I asked him if he thought he could be holding onto his bad thoughts about bmom because it was his only way of keeping her and not saying goodbye. He said it might be true. We'll see. Baby steps.