Monday, September 22, 2008


Kids with RAD are immature. I bet you never noticed that ; ) If you stop and think about the age they were when the worst trauma occurred and then think about the behavior when they are at their most immature I bet the ages match up pretty closely. My boys were removed from the home at ages 3 and 9 mths. Then they were in foster care for 3 years in 4 different homes. So when Bear goes back he is very preschoolish. When Taz goes back he is very toddlerish. It is important when they go back to stop and go back with them. Let them know they are safe. Hold them and rock them if they will let you. Or read them a book, get out the play dough or just start singing. My boys find these types of activities comforting and I think that is what they are really looking for when they go back. Some comfort from the trauma.


Renee said...

Question - and I am not trying to be critical, I really want to know- if they find that you are comforting them when they revert to these behaviors, could that be reinforcing the behavior? I understand the need for them to feel safe, but how does this make them want to change? Did that question make sense?

Brenda said...

That does make complete sense. I think if it was a manipultive behavior that would happen. It isn't. It is an actual emotional/psychological thing they are experiencing. They missed stages of development due to trauma they were experiencing. It goes back and helps them make up those stages. Mine have never stayed there. In fact. Taz went through a stage of crawling, not talking and using a bottle. It lasted a couple of weeks and he suddenly stopped.

Unspeakable Joy said...

we use the phrases "he's 2!" and "she's 2!" as reminders for US to respond properly when they go back, as they sooooo often do. it's hard because they're 6 and 8 in real life, but in their brains, they're both 2. great reminder!