I was talking with someone yesterday about creativity. He believes all people are creative and just need to discover it within themselves. I think I agree! I know moms have to be very creative people. Creativity in parenting a child with RAD can make parenting more fun and effective. When we are stuck in a certain behavior with a child I put on the old thinking cap and try to come up with a more creative idea in how to handle it. Think outside the box. I try to look at RAD as a puzzle. The pieces are all mixed up and if I figure out one piece at a time our day can fall into place. When we become overwhelmed or look at the whole big puzzle it just leads to frustration. Frustration does not lead to great parenting. The things that are most effective with RAD in our household are touch, silliness and loving eyes. After I use these things with my kids and they soften a little it is easier to become attuned to them. Even when they are angry I can become attuned to the scared child underneath it all. So today when you are frustrated stop and think "How can I be more creative, fun and silly in handling this." It does not always have to be serious. If our child had cancer I hope we would not walk around very serious and do what the doctor had directed and hope for the best. We would want to add fun and zest to that child's day. Our children are sick and need fun and zest added to their days too. Here are a couple of examples:
One day when Taz was kicking the daylights out of his wall I yelled in "One....Two..." counting each kick. He immediately stopped and asked why I was counting. I told him dad and I were both guessing how many times he'd kick the wall today. Whoever was closest got a latte. He said "What number did you guess?" I said incredulously "I can't tell you that I want to win." He said "Well I can make sure you don't win" and didn't kick the wall again. That night I made sure he saw me heading out for a latte with a friend.
I've had kids start making a repetitive noise in the car and refuse to stop. I start timing them and say "Come on you can do better than that. The last one was 2 minutes. Go for 2:15" They stop the noise. Make things into a game. Be creative. Stop taking RAD so seriously that it rules over your household. When you refuse to be afraid of it I think it helps you feel calm enough to be creative. YOU CAN DO IT!