Many months ago our attachment therapist asked Bear to make a list of 20 ways to show mom he loves her. He wouldn't do it. I finally made the list for him and typed it. It has been laying on his bookshelf untouched since. I change the kids chore charts every month or so. I made a new one and under his list of chores its says "Pick 3 ways to show mom you love her". Chores must be done to have any free time activity so now he will be forced to choose 3. I don't know if this is the way to go. Who knows. Maybe he'll start doing them and actually find out it isn't so bad. Here's our list. Maybe you have a list of your own.
Ask for a hug.
Ask to go for a walk with mom.
Ask mom if she would like help with her work she is doing.
Do one of the jobs mom usually does without asking. (like extra load of laundry or swiffering the stairs.
Set the table for dinner without saying anything.
Get ready in the morning without saying a grouchy word the whole time to anyone.
Ask on a Saturday or Sunday if she wants to work out at the Y or swim with me.
Feed the dogs.
Take the dogs outside without being asked.
Tell mom 5 things you love about her.
Make mom an “I love you” card.
Ask mom if she wants to read together on the couch.
Give mom a foot massage.
Sits with mom and listens to her favorite CD with her
Write mom a note about what he notices SHE does for him b/c she loves him
Wash mom's car and vacuum inside
Fill the TP roll when it is empty.
Make a car trip without arguing with Taz or giving him a dirty look.
Draw a picture of something you did with mom once that was special.
Try to tell her you love her and ask for a hug 12 times in one day!
These things sound easy to us but to a person afraid of love they are tough. Have a healing day!