Sunday, June 1, 2008

Siblings with RAD

I come back to this now and then because it is SUCH an issue in our home. Our youngest has had some major strides in his attachment with me. He still has some RAD issues and regressions but is not the same person he was a year ago. Unless his brother walks in the room. He completely goes back to the RAD behaviors. They physically become aggressive. Their words are angry and hateful. They are jealous, petty and mean when they are together. They have a bond founded on trauma. It is like they are re traumatized when they are together. Nancy Thomas told me to keep them apart. I work hard to do this. They work hard to be together. Do any of you have siblings with RAD? Can you share your experience with this. Any insights? I would LOVE to hear them.

3 comments:

Family Gregg said...

I do not have siblings w/ RAD but I do have a big problem between one of my kids w/RAD and one w/out. Lot's of hurt/hard feelings etc.

Karen Deborah said...

I don't have this in my home so can't make any real suggestions. wish I could. If they really want to be together is there some kind of directed activity they could participate in together? What about a sport? Karate? Martial arts teaches kids to respect and also gives them a lot of physical outlets. I always hear in your stories that your boys have a great deal of pent up energy. Bill Cosby said his wife's approach was very intellectual with their kids; he was more simple. As a couch he would say, "Take a lap." I think having to run around the block, or track for aggression might be a good idea. Or push ups or whatever else you can think of that is physically tiring.
You can always get in the car and drive next to them while they run, to make sure they do it.
Peach comes up with some pretty interesting "therapies" mow the grass, pick up sticks, etc,...

Brenda said...

Karen Deborah,

Physical activity is a must for our boys. We have used jumping jacks which they are now really good at. You have to constantly change up things with them because things are only effective for a short time. Our therapist advised against martial arts for them and they don't do well in organized sports. They do enjoy going to the Y with me though. I have to keep them in separate areas though. Such as one in the gym. One in the pool.