Thursday, May 15, 2008

Field Trip


My freshmen sons have a field trip to World's of Fun in Kansas City today. I can hear the alarms going off in the teacher's head about my son. Funny, same alarms I hear. I received 2 emails of concern and signed a contract stating consequences if he didn't follow the rules. He had a rough day yesterday but I feel it was behavior following an effective attachment therapy session rather than end of school behavior. In art, they were up doing things. Someone used his chair. This set him off in a pretty loud, angry way, I guess. They are on the bus and gone for the day. My thoughts will be on them. Prayers will be said. His day has to be his though. He will have to deal with whatever consequences come along with behavior. When he gets home if I hear from a teacher my reaction will have to be: I support your actions. To him I will just have to say either "I'm glad you had fun or 'bummer'." It is HIS day not mine. My youngest has quit working and the grades are falling. I assure him they are his grades that reflect on him, not on me and that if he feels those are grades he wants, so be it. I also talk with him often about "air line pilot grades" or "lawn mowing" grades. When he grows up he wants to be a pilot. I tell him his grades now will help him get where he wants. Or he will not do the work and will mow people's lawns. The choices must be theirs. I have a college group interview today for the master's program. My own field trip! : )

7 comments:

Rachelle said...

So anxious to hear how the day went.

Anonymous said...

Me too. As parents, it is always so easy to want to protect them from the negative - but with our kids, it's imperative that they learn to take ownership of their own behaviors and consequences. It's difficult for them to understand because they want so desperately to blame the mom for everything. Good for you in allowing this to be HIS day and great for you in capitalizing in your own endeavors. Denise R.

Coffee Bean said...

How did it all go?

Brenda said...

The boys do not get home for about a half hour. My group orientation was really neat. I love their program and it sounds like classes I will find interesting and useful.

Karen Deborah said...

wow. ok have you read any of tiggers blog? that's my GD and we are already going around and around about her computer. I tried giving it back. She thinks i hate her fantasy interests. What happens is she gets so consumed by it she won't get dressed, or take a shower, or do her school work. her attitude goes in the tank. I think she's addicted to it. so I wrote out this rules contract to avoid any fighting ( didn't work)she finagled a way to put her favorite fantasy character on her blog. She was watching about an hour of the zelda elf that she relates to so much. She would LIVE in a fantasy world. So she's had 3 infractions on the contract in less than 2 days. I said no second chances. My husband says I come down on her too hard accusing her of being wrong instead of just pointing out what she does. He's right.
Why I'm going on about this is that in her mind she never sees what she does, it's always my fault. Even when I write it out in plain English. What do you think?
I think some of this stuff fits her because of her mom and being abused, rejected, ADHD, socially not to connected. But not all of it. She's very affectionate. She is also the queen of passive aggressive behavior. ok what do you think?

Brenda said...

I am wondering if maybe it would help if you started working on the fantasy issue first. Does she see a counselor? She needs to figure out why the fantasy world is so much safer for her than the real world. I think I would make her computer time based on amount of time spent with you first doing some activities.

Karen Deborah said...

we have been helped by a counsellor but we haven't seen her lately. I think she likes the fantasy as an escape. good questions to ask.