Lying about the obvious (crazy lying)
I recently wrote about our experience with lying. http://reactiveattachmentdisorderlife.blogspot.com/2008/02/lieing-and-rad.html This is a behavior that drives parents CRAZY. They lie about the obvious. They lie when there is no reason to protect themselves. Such as lying about what they had for lunch today. If we become emotional about it it shows them they are in control of our emotions. It shows we are weak. Stay calm about this. It is hard.
Stealing:
Children with RAD steal from their families: small objects that are then given to friends and even money. They steal from school: velcro, markers, soap. Part of this is because they place no value on things. Every time they moved they left much of what they "owned" behind: clothes, bikes, toys. They also are trying to fill an emptiness in their hearts. They must be watched. If you know they have taken something then they must return it to the person. If it is taken from you and given away they must pay for it. If they have no money they can do chores to earn it. They don't feel safe and feel they must protect themselves. If they don't who will? We must constantly assure them of their safety and make our homes a quiet safe place.
I recently wrote about our experience with lying. http://reactiveattachmentdisorderlife.blogspot.com/2008/02/lieing-and-rad.html This is a behavior that drives parents CRAZY. They lie about the obvious. They lie when there is no reason to protect themselves. Such as lying about what they had for lunch today. If we become emotional about it it shows them they are in control of our emotions. It shows we are weak. Stay calm about this. It is hard.
Stealing:
Children with RAD steal from their families: small objects that are then given to friends and even money. They steal from school: velcro, markers, soap. Part of this is because they place no value on things. Every time they moved they left much of what they "owned" behind: clothes, bikes, toys. They also are trying to fill an emptiness in their hearts. They must be watched. If you know they have taken something then they must return it to the person. If it is taken from you and given away they must pay for it. If they have no money they can do chores to earn it. They don't feel safe and feel they must protect themselves. If they don't who will? We must constantly assure them of their safety and make our homes a quiet safe place.
1 comment:
My RAD brother loves to do chores and manual labor type of things. He dislikes reading, but that isn't proper to use against him because I want him to be able to love reading someday. Is there any other 'punishment' to make him pay back that can be used?
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