Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Abnormal Speech Patterns

Abnormal speech patterns for children with RAD are created to get mom mad. To cause you to lose control of your emotions. To show you are not emotionally strong enough to handle them.
The abnormal speech patterns of RAD are about control. Almost every question is answered with "I don't know." or "I forgot". They think "I forgot" clears them of all responsibility. You seldom get any other answer. They also like to speak very softly, or mumble, so you have to say "What?" They also like to pretend not to hear what you say and often say "What?" several times to make you repeat yourself over and over and over. Once again, they are proving adults are stupid and not to be trusted. They think they are smarter and in control. For "I don't know" or "I forgot" I usually say "Go sit on the couch until you can remember. Now this is not in situations were it may actually be true but in situations where you know they know the answer. They usually remember the answer on the way to the couch but I say "Wait. I'm not ready to talk yet. Sit down and I will let you know when I am." This gives you back the control in a kind way. "What?" is answered with either "I'm sorry I don't repeat myself" or "What do you think I said?" Mumbling I generally just ignore and pretend I didn't even notice they were talking. They eventually either drop it or say it loud enough to be heard. They are supposed to come to me and make eye contact before they are to speak to me. This stops mumbling at me in the other room. I once again pretend not to hear until they come and make eye contact and speak face to face. The eye contact needs to be loving when it is made. This builds trust and glaring does not. All of us can improve our communication skills and this is the RAD version

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