Friday, February 1, 2008

Kintai Bridge

I don't know if you noticed I added a photo of a bridge at the top of my blog. That is the Kintai Bridge in Japan. Isn't it unusual? I am assuming it is a walking bridge and not for cars : ) 2 friends of mine were in a Japanese Steak house in North Carolina and saw it painted on a wall. They took a picture of it for me.

The reason my friends noticed this bridge is first of all because I am always talking about my children with RAD being at the oppoisite end of the bridge from me and slowly coming across. They noticed this bridge has lots of ups and downs. Our progress with RAD is the same way. Right now I would say the older son is up and the younger son is down. I'd kind of like it if they would both give me an up day at the same time once in awhile! I guess many things in life are like this. We'd all love it if we can just coast through life with no problems and enjoy each day. But we have all these ups and downs. Hopefully we allow them to make us stronger and not bitter. What is that old phrase? Be better not bitter. So, anyway, thanks friends for the photo. I agree that it is very symbollic.


Denise said...

Very cool! I love the symbolism - how true it is!

Rachelle said...

Love the picture.

Awittyname said...

I appreciate your site very much. I just started to cry as I read it! I have been looking for something like this for a long time.

I have a RAD child. It has been very difficult on me, my health, my relationships with others, my marriage, my biological children have suffered.

I struggle with myself constantly. I want so much to have a relationship with H. like I do with my other children.

We dreamed of this child coming and worked for 24 months for H. to join our family. H. has been with us since 6 months and is now 11.

I am worn out, numb and just don't have anything left to give right now (emotionally). I have read Nancy Thomas' book and listen to her tape. Also Love and Logic books are great. Just the psycological "warfare" with these type of children is exhausting.

Thanks again.

Brenda said...


Awwwwwwwwww. I'm so glad to meet you. You are one of the few people on this earth I can honestly tell "I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL". If you would like to talk back and forth please feel free to email me at

Denise said...

awittyname: You have stumbled across not only an amazingly informative website, but also, you are now in contact with one of the most amazing moms I have ever met. I, too, have a child with RAD and Brenda has been my rock. I can truly appreciate what you are saying about the strained relationships and the constant inner struggles that come with dealing with a RAD child. It's the kind of thing that is almost impossible for others to understand; but those who truly care - somehow make sense of it (probably because they care enough to ask all the necessary questions). I know how isolating this illness is - but rest in the knowledge that, now, you no longer have to go it alone! There are plenty of us out here in the cyber world who would love to help. Rest assured, you have found a great support here with Brenda! I wish you and your child all the best!

Brenda said...

Love you Denise! Awittyname, as you can see there are several mom's here who can identify with you and your child. It is just great to hang out in a place where people don't judge your parenting, understand your pain and may even had advice. We all look forward to getting to know you.

Tami Boesiger said...

Be better, not bitter.

That's a good one I'll remember.

Renee said...

Awittyname - I second Denise. I have only met Brenda once (and never Denise)in person, but count her as one of my best friends. We have been communicating daily for years.

It is easy to find people that tell you what to do - or to find people that are going through what you are, but hard to find someone that is both.

Hang in there. We all know what you are going through.

Brenda said...


Isn't the internet an amazing thing? It brings together people who live so far apart and would never meet the opportunity to make friends and build each other up. I am a better person knowing you Renee! You always give me such confidence.