Monday, February 28, 2011

Ghost of Mornings Past

Those nasty mornings have been coming back for Taz as of late.

First step. Stop and evaluate my reactions to see if they are making things worse... possibly...


Don't argue with him.
Empathize with how difficult mornings are:
Ask him during a good time how we might work together to make mornings better.
Then refuse to get involved in a negative way.

Don't nag. Don't preach. Let some things go and focus on the attachment not the little trivial stuff.

Second step. Look at his stage of development and see if there is some new thing going on.  He turned 16 and wants to drive. We are working on that. While he wants to I think the idea is also frightening to him so he is sabotaging. He doesn't think he can handle it.  PLUS in the fall his twin brothers will be leaving him at home as the only child. He laughs and says he loves it...does he really?

Use Dr. Becker-Weidmann's PLACE

Playful: get them out of the fight/flight/fright place he has gone back to in the mornings
Love: Give him a hug and say good morning in a loving way and remember to react out of love, not defensiveness
Attunement: Understand where his morning frustration and anger are coming from,
Curious: "I wonder" statements followed by "Oh I'm sorry" if it offends him but remain curious
Empathy: It is tough in the mornings (trust me I get this one). I know you don't like how things are going and we can work together on it. It will be all right.

If some part of your day has gone haywire and used to go pretty well. Stop and reevaluate. You can get things back on track again!

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