Monday, April 12, 2010

What is going on RADalately.

We have 5 weeks until we move. Our house is not sold but we have 2 people with strong interest.  I'm hoping for at least one offer this week. Hope. Hope. Hope. Where would we be without hope?

Teddy is going through a strong pull away period. No violence, no aggresion but pulling away. He will not help with the house. If asked he glares and says "I don't know how." He was watching a lot of violence on tv and refused to shut it off. One day I picked up the tv and carried it out, but the house for sale I felt it needed to be in its spot.  So I hid the remote. We have satellite so the channels won't change without the remote. His language is vile at times. It is directed at me and Taz.

As sand through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives, or something like that. Anyway, yes, we are moving forward with our move and walking the tight rope with Teddy. Taz seems to be doing pretty well. His ADHD type symptoms cause him a lot of social problems but even that has improved a little.  Baby steps are still steps forward!

We are working on getting the neurofeedback set up for Teddy. My husband and I discussed it yesterday over sundaes at Dairy Queen.  The goal is different for different kids. We hope to get Teddy's ADHD improved to the point of him being able to hold down a job. He graduates next year! His future looms before us as a sea of uncertainty. We will work it out. He cannot live at home as an adult. He is verbally abusive toward us and refuses to help out or comply with any directions. 

RAD is a difficult disorder. It is so hard for our kids. So hard for us. But we keep going. It is what we do.


Diana said...

My guess would be that there's a lot of subconscious stuff being stirred up for Teddy because of the move. In his mind, he's losing his house, his friends, his life, and it's triggering all those old feelings of loss, abandonment, anger, etc and he's resorting to what is familar to him...replaying violence over and over.

As for the TV thing, if it needs to be in place for staging, then there are a few options. Hiding the remote is ok, but will still likely result in a power struggle and battle of wills. Some other options might be to disconnect the cable from the tv or better yet, put your satalite service on a mover's package. It's basically like putting it on hold. They'll charge you something like $5/month and you'll still be able to get a couple of free channels, mostly the "resubscribe to our service" or other add type stuff. By doing that, Teddy will still have access to the remote and the tv will still work. He just won't be able to watch anything except Breyers Ice Cream ads. :-) After you've moved and are ready to reconnect your service at your new place, they'll do so without without charging you an arm and a leg for new connection fees.

You can watch pretty much anything you want to watch over the internet during that time and your DVD player and stuff will still be operational (and much more controlled than satalite, too.) You can also leave your service on hold for several months without penalty if you need to.

Life's Mom said...

We are struggling here too. Life was doing GREAT before Spring Break, but just has not re-acclimated to school since then. She is in 3rd grade which our state requires a standardized test to move forward. Since she is in Special Ed (for behavior), the rules are different for her. But this test is still causing her great anxiety. Of course they talk about it a lot at school with multiple practice sessions, etc. It is only the math section where she struggles. She is making 100s on the English portion. I will be SO glad when this test is over in two weeks. The anxiety has sure made our mornings difficult. Of course they used to ALWAYS be this difficult - even worse. Sometimes regression just shows us how far we have come. But I am ready to pick back up to where we were before the regression!!

I pray your house sells quickly so that you can all be settled again. I know you will be glad to get back to normal - whatever that is. :)

peggysue said...

I think you might get an offer if you have two couples with strong interest. They have two weeks left to get in under the special program offered for both first time and repeat buyers under the federal government. Have to contract by April 30, close by June 30 so maybe that will provide the impetus you need.

Life here slowly gets better. Slowly, but as you say, any step forward is progress.

Radical Melody said...

I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you -- trying to parent RAD kids when your house needs to look "normal." Here's hoping you get a great offer TODAY!

I like the new background!