My child who had RAD couldn't bare to throw his old bed spread in the trash. He went out to the trash can and was gone for quite awhile. He finally came back and says "I couldn't do it."
Taz has never cared about possessions. When he was little his toys would be broken within the day of getting them. He breaks many of our things. He has had his possessions repeatedly taken from him with his many moves by age 3 and felt he and nothing he owned was of value.
It is very touching to me to see this softeness in him. It is a sign of healing as it is so different then he has been in the past.
8 comments:
Life does this too. But I do not think it is necessarily a RAD trait. I have seen this trait in many people who have had to do without. Hubby's grandmother suffered through the great depression and was very much a hoarder. She couldn't get rid of anything. We are combatting this trait in Life with constant reminders that God has promised to provide for her. When she questions why God did not provide for her before - I tell her that He did - God sent me to her to help Him take care of her physical needs. I am taking Life to a Mexican orphanage in two weeks. I hope to talk her into giving away a couple of her non-favorite stuffed animals (she has hundreds!) to give to the truly impoverished kids she will meet.
I took my older kids to this same orphanage beginning when they were 7 & 5 years old and it really helped to shape their world view. They can see how blessed they really are. I pray it has the same affect on Life. Of course it could really trigger her too. I am prepared for that as well.
Sounds like a wonderful experience. I actually I meant the opposite.I need to go back and clarify that. He has never cared about things but breaks or trashes all his belingings and many of ours. The fact that he couldn't throw it away was very touching to me.
Oh - you're right - I did misunderstand your original post. The irony is that "Life" breaks many things, but then hoardes them at the same time. So she won't even get rid of broken toys. She has so many stuffed animals, we have had to rotate them to plastic bags to be kept in the garage. We tried storing them in the attic, but she needed to be able to see them to be sure they were still there.
That is very sweet that Taz is beginning to be sentimental about things. That is a very good sign!
I've read about kids with RAD breaking their possessions on purpose. That is wonderful that Taz is finding emotional value in his possessions.Not something he doesn't deserve or he uses to push people away.My niece has always tried to use objects as a symbol of love to the point it can be nearly impossible to take her in a store.She won't get rid of anything. My mom tried to talk about donating some of her toys this holiday season and she had a meltdown over the topic.She said she is still upset that her dad gave away her purple dinosaur which is a plastic rocking horse that she had when she was only one and a half! The only reason she knows about it is because I told her a funny story about it and her uncle. But it's a symbol of love from her uncle. She tries to fill her broken heart with objects.
Interesting both your girls are the same about their possessions. It is very much the opposite with ours. Possessions have no value to them.....guess I have to say "had". : )
Brenda that is a very positive sign of healing, yay! I have to say we went through our destructive period and it appears to be a thing of the past, so that is wonderful for us. Our daughter was a 'marker,' she marked everything with some sort of writing tool, pencil, crayon, whatever she could get her hands on.
She would color on herself, her clothing, lampshades, walls, piano keys, the roof of the new car (holy moley did she catch it for that one, those marks were permanent), toys, other peoples toys, everything in the house. Pick apart her clothing . . . anyone else have a child who did or does this? She would literally pick apart sweaters with a pencil . . . I am so thankful that is now in the past! See? You have given me something to remember to be thankful for today.
I'm glad she is past that one. I have not had one who marks every thing. I did have clothes cutters. They cut up their clothes each day school. Thank goodness that has past.
OhI forgot about the cutting, we had that phase too. She would cut her clothes with whatever she could find. It kind of coincided with the drawing on clothes and furniture phase so I forgot about that part. And at school especially, to 'amuse' the kids at her table, she would cut holes in her clothes.
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