Last time I talked about what we do before a rage. Next time I'll talk about after but this time I wanted to talking about during the rage. For several years holding was a popular method of dealing with rage. It has become very controversial and for legal reasons is no longer recommended. I do thing holding your child close and comforting them when they are very upset is helpful but when they are in a full screaming, yelling, kicking, fists swinging rage we do not do this.
We do many different things because the same thing doesn't work for long with kids with RAD.
When there is wall kicking or such going on start counting the kicks loudly but calmly. Taz would always stop and say "What are you doing?" I'd say "Dad and I both picked a number as to how many times you would kick or hit the wall today and whoever is closest gets a latte." He'd say "Well I'll make sure neither of you get it." and stop. Make sure he sees you going out for a latte later.
Hold up a piece of paper rating the rage. Tell him he gets 3 points for loudness, 2 for his kicking and only 1 for originality.
In the middle of the rage I'd calmly say "Could you go set the table for me?" and he'd stop and say "Ok". "Or did you see that cardinal in the yard?" "Where" Use the ADHD to your advantage.
Everyone leave the room and say "This is boring."
Then go in the other room and make sure it sounds like you are REALLY having fun.
"You are safe." "I'm not going to leave you." "I will love you no matter what." " Thank you for letting all your anger out."
There are no easy answers and prevention works best. As your child heals the rages will become fewer and further between. Taz rarely has rages any more and they are not impressive when he does. Bear has never been a rager in the traditional sort but still has periods of yelling and screaming. He has not really even begun to heal. He is a complicated case.
More than one diagnosis:
If your child is having these rages make sure you see a psychiatrist familiar with RAD. There can be reasons besides RAD and a professional needs to know the details and see the child. There are not really meds for RAD but there are medications for many other mental disorders that may help. I cannot tell you the difference since Taz has gone on meds for a closed traumatic brain injury that had gone undiagnosed for 14 years.
Never, never, never quit