Sunday, July 5, 2009

Eating Out with RAD

When I eat out with my boys alone it such an odd experience. When the whole family is together they are busy with each other. But when it is just me and them it is too close, too intimate for their comfort. They turn side ways in their chairs and face out word and avoid any contact. They turn around and look at the people behind them or read things on the walls. They do anything but acknowledge that I am there. I have played with the whole thing to see if I am imagining it. If I allow them they do not look at me or say a word to me the entire meal but turn a different direction the entire meal. I've eaten with the other kids alone to see if it is just a kid thing. Nope. They all sat and talked with me, discussed the food, talked about what they have been doing with friends. Normal kid stuff.

So here's what we do....Ask questions about what they are eating, their day or what they'd like to do. Tell them a story from when I was a child. Talk about something they are looking at and show I am interested too. The important thing is just reconnecting without nagging or scolding. Find ways of gently bringing them back in. RAD creeps up about anywhere doesn't it? I hope you all had a great 4th. We are still dealing with the missing money and trying to do it in a loving and yet firm way. Never, never, never quit.


familygregg said...

I'm just gonna say a little prayer or two that the Lord reveals the truth about that missing money.

In fact, every time I think of it...I'm going to pray about it.

familygregg said...

About this eating out thing:

How's about taking a chalk board or magna doodle? You can play tic tac toe or hangman.

Maybe one of those hidden picture books...where you can search together?

I guess connecting like this would be an attempt to do so w/out threat (emotional.)

Brenda said...

Those are great ideas. Thanks for the prayers.

BeckyJoie at Leaders in Learning said...

What great ideas. I act silly to get the attention of my teens. They eventually look at me and grin and say "MAWM" but the sparkle in their eyes shows me that they are connected with me mentally even when they don't want to show their need for me otherwise.

BeckyJoie at Leaders in Learning said...

I find humor goes a long ways with my kids. It is tough for me to find humor, though sometimes. I pray and dig deep within. Eventually, some goofy remark finds it's way to my lips and their hearts.

Brenda said...


My first thought was Mork and Mindy "humor Ar Ar " My second thought is that God has an excellent sense of humor!

ali said...

jack does that too! strangely, his concerta(for ADHD) makes it worse for some reason. on days he doesnt take it(now & then) hes much more chatty and engaged. i wish he didnt need the concerta :(