I am taking a class on Grief and Bereavement counseling. I am doing a lot of reading on grief. The similarities between the fear of RAD which is really a form of being stuck in grief and the feeling of being stuck in grieving have some definite similarities.
We went to the coffee shop and I talked with the boys about what I am learning about grief. That the only way out of the grief is to talk about the pain and fears. That when a person doesn't talk about it they stay stuck in it. All those feelings are in there. I told them that the only way they are going to be able to move on from their fears or sadness is to talk about them so that I can help and work through it together. Bear, who has not talked about his feelings for MONTHS, said "You never know whenever you go to school it could be the last time we see you." HUGE> HUGE> HUGE> So we talked about how this is really true of anyone. They are no longer little kids. They can now feed themselves. (food is a real emotional issue for them). Dad is there to take care of their needs so they would not leave. They'd still have their sisters. And we have hope of our home in heaven. They seemed to both be reassured. The book I'm reading is Children and Grief: When a Parent Dies, by J. William Worden.