One of the interesting things about taking counseling classes is the assessments. Since we need to know how to give them to people we take the assessments ourselves. This gives us understanding of how it feels to answer them and what questions are in them. We recently did an assessment called the Mind Scan. This assessment revealed some alarming things about myself. Before you poo poo it and say those things are not accurate you must realize that this is a very good assessment. It is scientifically reliable and valid, not one from Redbook magazine or something. It showed that I am giving so much of myself that I am putting myself last. It showed I let people walk all over me. I was disappointed as these are two things I have really worked on for the last couple of years. After thinking about it and talking with the professor that means that I have made progress. The assessment would have looked even worse a couple of years ago. So I am rethinking my schedule. I am rethinking my boundaries with my children. I am evaluating how I see things. I think reflection is great. Who knew going to grad school for counseling would mean working so hard on myself?
I would like to add that in no way am I saying that I intend to start putting my needs about those of my family. I do believe in the old adage:
You brings JOY.
I also believe that Jesus fed the 5,000 before he spoke to them. He healed many people physically to reach them spiritually. He said to love our neighbor as ourselves, not love our neighbor and let yourself go. We must look after ourselves spiritually, emotionally and physically in order to give to others. I hate to keep going back to the old horse analogy but my horse needs some rest, a soft blanket and some sweet hay! Then I am ready to work again serving in what ways I see.