"Living with the RAD child is traumatic in and of itself. It's easy to misinterpret the child's survival behavior.
- "My child is evil and he is out to get me."
- "My child is the next Von Maur shooter." (Personal note: This seminar was given in Omaha by professionals from Omaha. Von Maur is the department store there where a teen with RAD walked in and shot 6 people, shot up the store and then killed himself.)
- "My child ruined my life/my marriage."
- "My child doesn't want my love."
- "My child wants to hurt me."
Digging up the past....
- Any unresolved issues within the parent are easily triggered by the RAD child, including...
- Parent's childhood feelings of rejection.
- Parent's childhood victimization.
- Parents' unresolved losses of the past.
- Marital issues (i.e. rejection from spouse)"
If you have not been through attachment therapy I hope this gives you a better understanding of your feelings. When we went to attachment therapy these issues were addressed as they came up. If you are struggling with any of this it may be time for you to seek out therapy for yourself. I did. I went to EMDR therapy to deal with past issues. I went back a few times after that just to vent. It helped me get through some hard times with my boys. Instead of venting at them or constantly venting at my husband I'd think "Just put it in the box (mental box) at Joan's and save it to discuss with her." I have had many very negative experiences with therapists. I will tell you when you find the right ones it makes all the difference in the world and really benefited our family.