Bear: Could I talk to you about some things mom? (never asks this)
Bear, with shaking voice: I've been thinking about my life and it is really a mess. Can you help me fix it? I need your help.
Me: Of course Bear. All you need to do is open your heart and let me in.
Bear: I am mom. I love you. Sobbing. Giving a big real hug.
Me. Sobbing. Giving a real big hug.
Lots of sobbing. Lots of hugging.
Bear: Mom your choking me. I can't breathe.
Me: Sorry Bear.
It has been 10 long hellish years. Healing has begun. It is real. It is deep.