Monday, October 13, 2008

Separation Anxiety

Children with RAD have some major separation anxiety problems. Age doesn't matter here. Whatever they age they go back to the time of their early abandonment. It brings out the fear. When my boys were younger if I even went to the gas station when I came back I'd see the curtain move because they had been standing there watching for me. When they know I am going some where the wildness starts. They haven't adjusted to me going to grad school yet. There is a lot of anxiety on the day or day before I go. I have my last Saturday class of the entire program this Saturday. I am very thankful for that. I do not think mom should quit going places. I do think we need to keep them near us as much as we can. When we are going some place we need to reassure them that we will be back. For a time when our youngest was having some major separation anxiety I would have him think of a nice way to let me know he had been thinking of me. I'd think of a way to let him know I'd been thinking of him. That helped. If it is going to be for very long I'd leave little sweet snacks. I'd tell them as they unwrapped each one to know it was given with love. Once my boys acknowleged I was not going to abandon them they still worried I'd be in a car accident. That is a really big worry to them. I call and check in often even when I am just going to class. We cannot completely stop the fear when we leave. We can do our best to reassure. We must have time to get away and rest, fellowship, date our hubbies or go to grad school!

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