Chores

My kids have always had a chore chart. There are varying opinions on paying kids to do chores. I've never been sure what I think. I can see how it would be helpful for a child with RAD because then they can pay you back for broken or stolen items. Our kids have never been paid though. They each have 3 chores plus their rooms. I change them each month. We do have to check on them regularly and see if they are done well. If I have a child who is saying they do them but is not I have them start coming to me after each chore and saying "I'm ready for you to check my ..." What about the child who refuses it? No big deal. I just say "That's fine, you sit or lay here on the couch and rest until you are strong enough to do it." No book. No tv. No nothing until they are ready to do the chore. If they refuse to sit on the couch they will probably go in their room and shut the door. "Fine. You go in your room until you are ready to sit on the couch." No tv, no nothing until they are ready to sit on the couch. They will be mad. They scream and yell. Stay calm. Assure them you understand their fear. It is going to be ok. Eventually they will do it. The point is not to win. The point is not to "MAKE" them do it. The point is to teach them regulate themselves enough that they CHOOSE to do it. Keep the main thing the main thing! Why do we have chores? OK. Maybe partly to get help around the house. Partly to teach a sense of helping family. Partly to teach responsiblity. Partly to learn to do things we don't like to do and to do them well. Yucky stuff even for us grown ups sometimes.....speaking of such.....my statistics homework is calling me.