Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Chores

My kids have always had a chore chart. There are varying opinions on paying kids to do chores. I've never been sure what I think. I can see how it would be helpful for a child with RAD because then they can pay you back for broken or stolen items. Our kids have never been paid though. They each have 3 chores plus their rooms. I change them each month. We do have to check on them regularly and see if they are done well. If I have a child who is saying they do them but is not I have them start coming to me after each chore and saying "I'm ready for you to check my ..." What about the child who refuses it? No big deal. I just say "That's fine, you sit or lay here on the couch and rest until you are strong enough to do it." No book. No tv. No nothing until they are ready to do the chore. If they refuse to sit on the couch they will probably go in their room and shut the door. "Fine. You go in your room until you are ready to sit on the couch." No tv, no nothing until they are ready to sit on the couch. They will be mad. They scream and yell. Stay calm. Assure them you understand their fear. It is going to be ok. Eventually they will do it. The point is not to win. The point is not to "MAKE" them do it. The point is to teach them regulate themselves enough that they CHOOSE to do it. Keep the main thing the main thing! Why do we have chores? OK. Maybe partly to get help around the house. Partly to teach a sense of helping family. Partly to teach responsiblity. Partly to learn to do things we don't like to do and to do them well. Yucky stuff even for us grown ups sometimes.....speaking of such.....my statistics homework is calling me.

7 comments:

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Two Dogs said...

Oddly enough, my son would think that you are being too soft on those chillun' and would ask to move in with you.

Brenda said...

Two dogs,

LOL. He should tell that too my sons.

Two Dogs said...

Here, let me help.

Tell the kids to read this.

Rachelle said...

Brenda, the book I read was just written recently. She just returned home in March of 07. The same month that we got Ellie. That's why it was hard to believe it was all still going on. Hope you got your homework done. I worked on bookwork all day : (

Karen Deborah said...

I have tried it all and quit. It takes me as long to get them to do stuff as to just do the stuff myself. More peaceful too.

Christine said...

Chores are important. We can't just give up and do them ourselves just because it is easier. PArenting takes consistency and it takes tons of patience. I like your blog. I will be back.