Seems I am constantly having to work on myself as much as my kids. Once I get into the negativity and being angry with Bear it is hard to get out. It is not right. It is not ok. I do go to therapy today for myself. It does seem to really help to vent all my feelings about the situation regularly to a professional who can guide me along some. I'm getting my hair done today. I am going out for dinner with the graduate students in my theories class. It should be a fun today.
My problem is when Bear gets out of bed. He immediately starts with the negativity. He has 3 years of high school left and no plans for changing. I know God can work a miracle in his heart. I know the therapeutic parenting can work because I saw it happen in Taz. But I also have had to make peace with the fact that this might be how he is going to be. So.....I can't change him. I need to change me. Otherwise I am the one who is allowing myself to stay miserable. Which is the very trait I don't understand in him. So I am working on me today instead of him. Giving a soft answer and being a loving person are important for me to do no matter who he decides to be. Self. Always a battle.